INPUT

WARNING: I'm Drunk

2009-06-27T01:09:00.002-04:00

It would be incredibly sad if I didn't take the time to talk about the untimely death of one of the most influential individuals in modern pop culture: Michael Jackson.

To me, it feels like what it must have felt when my parents heard Elvis had died. Untimely. Undeserved. And most of all, unappreciated.

Say what you will about MJ, the man was a genius. Despite the rumors and controversy that followed him for most of his life, he shed that and became one of, if not the, most influential pop stars to ever walk the face of this earth.

I hope that the people who read this blog will choose to remember him as the great man he was rather than the man the tabloids painted him as.

We have lost someone truly unique and special.

R.I.P.

Michael Bay eats explosions for breakfast

2009-06-25T16:12:00.000-04:00

Boy, it's been a while, hasn't it? A quick glance through the old blog says the last review I wrote was for Watchmen, but that was more a collection of thoughts than an actual critique of the movie (which I have learned to love). Before that, my last review came all the way back in July of last year, when I gushed about The Dark Knight.

Well, despite their being quite a few pretty fantastic movies released between then and now, the first movie I've felt the need to write about is Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Yes, an excessive barrage on the senses that sheds any sense of a coherent plot has brought the first piece of film criticism in nearly a year.

I wrote pretty extensively about the first Transformers when it was released two years ago. I described how, for quite possibly the first time, I knew absolutely nothing about the "universe" of a genre film. I wasn't a Transformers kid growing up, so going into the movie all I really wanted was to see giant robots fighting. And Transformers certainly delivered, which made me more forgiving of the film's glaring problems.

Well, with Transformers 2, everything you loved and hated about the first movie has been cranked up about 10 notches. You're going to get more and better robot fights, but you also get not one, but TWO humping jokes, not one, but TWO racist stereotype robots, and not one, but TWO giant dangling robot testicles. Does this sound appealing?

I'm not quite sure if the good outweighs or even equals out the bad about this movie, because there is a lot of bad. Now, everything mentioned in the previous paragraph, other than the two Jar-Jar-Bots, are only brief moments in the movie. You only see giant robot balls for a second, and it isn't quite as bad as the internet is making it out to be. I mean, to compare it to something from the first movie, I'd say it is less repulsive than the one Transformer pissing on John Torturro.

The film's biggest problem is the utter lack of anything resembling a coherent plot. The first thirty minutes or so of the movie make a fair amount of sense. We're re-introduced to the Transformers we know and love from the first film, now working side by side with the military in a covert organization seeking out the remaining Decepticons. All the cool action you've seen from the trailers occurs in the first ten minutes of the movie, so they haven't spoiled all the good stuff.

Then we get reacquainted with Sam Witwicky, who is leaving his smoking hot Megan Fox of a girlfriend and his robotic car behind to go off to college, to be "normal" or something. Of course, Sam's parents are back, and have a much bigger role this time around, although it isn't as bad as say, the talking pug's role in Men in Black 2.

Once Sam finally gets carted off to college is when the movie starts making no sense. Sam is roommates with this greasy fellow who just so happens to run a conspiracy theory website that is digging up dirt on the Transformers. A scene takes place that is so inane, fast-paced, and just downright confusing that I was never able to pick up the pieces after that. Seriously, by 30 minutes into the movie, your brain will still be trying to process what happened two scenes ago. You don't stand a chance.

Through extensive research, I think I've figured out what the movie is actually about. You see, there was an ancient race of Transformers called The Fallen, and nearly 20,000 years ago, they built a giant sun-sucking ray gun on Earth. In-fighting led to the eventual obliteration of The Fallen, and their sun gun eventual became (spoiler alert) The Great Pyramids.

Well now, The Fallen, along with a revived Megatron and the remaining Decepticons, have built a base on one of the moons of Saturn, where they are harvesting new Decepticons. But see, they need power, in the form of something called Energon, to build the new race of evil Transformers.

Which leads us back to the pyramid gun. You see, long ago, The Fallen (or maybe it was the Primes, more on that later) were sent out to find suns to harvest for Energon. The one rule was they could not harvest from a life-bearing planet. Well, this one Fallen, who is kind of the main bad guy in the movie but only really shows up for a second, disobeyed this rule and was going to harvest Earth anyway. This is what led to the in-fighting and the death of The Fallen on Earth.

Back on Earth, Sam has found a tiny shard of the Cube from the first flick. Once he touches it, his brain is implanted with visions which lead him to his "destiny", which is to allow Optimus, the last of the Primes, to destroy The Fallen and save Earth.

Oh right, I forgot, we were supposed to talk about Primes. You see, there were seven Primes, who were the leaders back on Cybertron. They are all dead now, except for Optimus. HIs special Prime powers make him the only one capable of defeating The Fallen. I'm not really sure why, but whatever.

Does any of this make any sense to you? These last five paragraphs are pretty much explained in a two minute scene about an hour into the movie. One scene. And then we're just supposed to go from there. The only problem is the people explaining this to the audience are robots, with robot voices. I have no idea what any of them were saying.

So the rest of the movie is pretty much just one big chase scene or dumb joke after another. Michael Bay does what he does best and throws more explosions on screen than you can possibly imagine. If you see something on screen, there's a fairly good chance that it will get blown up at some point.

So that's the negative, let's talk about the positive. The action scenes in this movie are really spectacular. I mean, there's some jaw-dropping stuff here. Unlike the first movie, where we'd maybe hear a really awesome robot fight going on, but we're stuck watching Sam run around and hide or kick a tiny robot in the face, here we got full on giant robot action. There is one fight in a forest that is one of the most amazing things I've ever seen. The climactic battle in this movie breaks the previous record for "Most Shit Going On At Once" set by the first movie. There's too much cool stuff to keep up with.

A lot of people seem to have problems with the sheer amount of action in the movie, but I'm not going to complain. The one thing I wanted from this sequel was more robots fighting, and they certainly delivered.

Some people have called this the worst movie of the decade. Considering some of the terrible movies I've seen in the last nine years, I'd say that's more than harsh. It is not good, by any means of the word, but it is also based on a series of toys. What did you expect, Citizen Kane? What this amounts to is a two and a half hour commercial for toys. The fanboys are attacking anyone who says anything positive about this movie, which is ignorant and completely misguided.

So you know what? I've decided to love this movie just to piss them off! Sure, its terrible, but I don't care. It is a movie about giant robots that turn into cars and fight other robots. The movie has laughs (more unintentional than intentional). It also has Megan Fox running in slow motion. So yeah, Transformers 2 kicked my ass into next week. It raped my senses. I felt like I was walking away from an explosion in slow-motion, only to find myself having to run from an even bigger, more awesome explosion. It's that kind of movie.

All you need to know about Transformers 2

2009-06-25T12:26:00.001-04:00

what are you you waiting for ?its best moive now and its new styel fro movie actoin adn micheal bay is is best directing actoin in world and beter than speelberg amd jame camerun is togeter so dont be iodiots and ssee it then !its funny and exsiting and and the specal affects are bestr ever saw !only idoits wont see tramsformers 2 becsase is better than frirst transrormers movie and all of starw ars and indiana jomes movies and i think trnasfromers 2 will willbe most sucesfull movie eveer made and its proofs amereica is number one and i sayd at the the end of the movie america is nimber one american is number 1 becase i was in england at the time wehn i saw it becasae i was visits my dad in englnad and all ,of englamd fags were laufing wehn its over and they didnt cheers becasse there jelous ovbbiosly of ameirca and of how goood nicheal bay is at directimg action movies !is movei fro all ages for kids and and adults adn im 19 years old and its perect movie for me and for everone !if peeple keepbeing nasty att this film iwill punch fuck out ofthem becase they dont knowwhatt there talking aboat and if i see somone who dont like this moive i will brek there neck proberly well not reelly but i wish i wolud be aload to do that !peeple who who dont like tramsformer 2 are worong and idots reelly !i am siuck of them and if you want to be not a idoit then go andsee transdormers 2 then !MIcHEAL BAY IS BEST ACTOIN DRIRECTINg !

-"petergrifin" on the Ain't It Cool talkbacks

For the first time ever, my summer jam is an "indie" song

2009-06-19T17:51:00.000-04:00

And live!

This should be real

2009-05-26T09:52:00.000-04:00

Fairly accurate

2009-04-20T12:40:00.003-04:00

According to Netflix, my favorite film genres are Critically-Acclaimed Action & Adventure, Violent Sci-Fi & Fantasy, Steamy Dramas, Exciting Horror Movies, and Suspenseful Sports Movies (???).

This is the end

2009-03-20T23:37:00.003-04:00

By the time HP7 rolled around, I had pretty much given up on the series, and that worthless piece of shit of a book certainly affirmed that. Episode III just filled in the gaps of a story I'd been obsessed with for as long as I can remember. But tonight, for the first time, I cared.

And Ronald D. Moore didn't disappoint. The first hour and a half were probably the best I've seen on television, and the final 40 minutes were incredibly challenging and perplexing. I'll be thinking about that for a while.

Read this

2009-03-11T16:57:00.002-04:00

What Solid Snake says is true. If we want more movies like Watchmen, we've got to support it.

Without condemning or condoning, I understand

2009-03-10T23:30:00.002-04:00

I just returned from my second viewing of Watchmen and there's only one word on my mind.

Wow.

Maybe that response doesn't mean what you think. Yes, this is a movie that made me think "wow" more than a few times. This is a fantastic adaptation of my favorite book (comic or otherwise) ever written. And according to the two people who I've seen it with who haven't read the comic, it works really well as just a film.

However, this is a film that I'm not sure I understand how it exists. In my conversations with friends after the movie, I believe I've decided that this is one of the riskiest films ever released. I also believe it is safe to say that it is THE riskiest blockbuster ever made. To release a film this grimy, dark, gritty, graphic, bleak, depressing, demanding, and stimulating with no stars and no recognizable heroes in the wake of the biggest comic book movie ever made borders on insanity. The fact that there is a Watchmen movie where Rorschach kills dogs, where Dr. Manhattan walks around naked, that never once sacrifices the mature storyline of the comic, I just have to say Wow.

Wow.

This is a film that demands more of its audience than possibly any I have ever seen. For the uninitiated, we're asked to believe in an alternate 1985, one in which a god on earth has won the Vietnam War, resulting in five presidential terms for Richard Nixon. We're asked to accept an alternate 20th century in which masked superheroes are commonplace, until made illegal in 1977. The plot is fantastic, and weaves an intricate yarn that requires constant attention. It is incredibly violent, the sex borders on explicit, and the characters are complicated, to say the very least.

Not your typical Saturday afternoon at the movies.

No, this is the Watchmen movie I never anticipated to see. When I first heard about a film adaptation, I grabbed my copy and reread it to try and find the things that would certainly be cut. I thought Dr. Manhattan's nudity would have to go. Rorschach's entire backstory would have to be altered, as well as a great deal of what happens to him in prison. Well all that's here, and other things I thought for sure would go. In a way, this is the Watchmen movie I dreamed about.

That being said, this is certainly a flawed masterpiece. It is a movie so full of good ideas and so ready to bring us into the world crafted by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons, and yet I'm not 100% convinced that it achieves that. Yes, it is a fantastic film, a glorious adaptation, and a movie that absolutely begs to be discussed and dissected, even by its detractors.

But why am I not fully sold on the thing? Honestly, I'm not exactly sure. The (small, almost insignificant) changes don't bother me at all. They work better within the context of the film. Maybe I'm still coming to terms with the mere fact that this film even exists. The production of this movie mirrors Dr. Manhattan's speech about thermodynamic miracles almost exactly. First, Zach Snyder directs 300, an unapologetically faithful adaptation of Frank Miller's brutal comic. Despite the insane amount of violence, the movie is a massive hit. Snyder now has a bit of clout in Hollywood, and pulls just the right strings to get a Watchmen movie, which had been in development hell for over 20 years, off the ground. Despite setbacks up until a matter of weeks before the release of the film, there it is. In theaters. The damage is done. There is a damned fine Watchmen movie in theaters, and for that I could not be happier.

And its very lucky, too. Any other time, any other director, and I don't think this film gets made. People may hate it, the box office take may plummet after its opening weekend, but the film is done and will be available forever. The film works so well as a companion piece to the comic, and if it draws just 10 more readers to the book, well I'd call that a success. I will be proud to add this to my DVD collection someday (probably many times over, as a director's cut is inevitable), and will watch it over and over again. This will be a movie that I'll be able to watch and absorb myself in like I can the Lord of the Rings films. I'm not sure its as good as those movies, but it certainly tries.

This review is very vague, and I'm sure that someday very soon I'll get in-depth with what exactly I loved, what I felt, and what could have been left out. For now, this will have to do.

Information

2009-03-08T01:56:00.003-05:00

As I'm sure you'd expect, a Watchmen review is forthcoming. However, right now, I'm not sure I could condense my feelings about the film into a cohesive review, so I'm going to wait until after a second viewing (which will hopefully be this Tuesday). Its an incredibly nuanced and layered work that I feel it is too much to absorb on a single viewing. This is one of the first movies I've ever seen where I wished I could have seen it for the first time on DVD.

Hey, but don't get me wrong, seeing it on the big screen was fantastic. I'm going to do everything in my power to see it in IMAX while I can.

Watch this space for what I'm sure will be my longest review to date.

Here there be spoilers

2009-03-07T09:00:00.002-05:00

LOVED:

-The opening scene and credits.

-Rorschach

-The visuals

-Dan Dreiberg/Nite Owl II

-Silk Spectre I (although should have been nuder)

-Dr. Manhattan and his blue penis

-Edward Blake/The Comedian

HATED:

-The audience I saw this movie with (seriously... laughter? cheers?)

-The sex scene

-The Big Figure

-Ronald Reagan over Robert Redford

-"I'm not a comic book supervillain"

Believe me, there will be A LOT more to come.

2009-03-05T20:50:00.000-05:00

Best music news story ever.

Watch Out!

2009-03-05T20:27:00.001-05:00

Sadly, Memphis decided not to have any midnight showings, but I'm going as soon as I get off work tomorrow. Can't wait.

Accolades

2009-02-28T01:57:00.000-05:00

2009 already has its best album, and here comes its best video.

Anticipation

2009-02-25T23:53:00.003-05:00

Right now, I feel about like I did in the days leading up to the release of Fellowship of the Ring. I know that just outside of my reach, there is a movie that does justice to my favorite book. There is a movie that, logic considered, should not be made. We've just been blessed with two fantastic superhero movies (Iron Man, The Dark Knight), but now we're about to get something that I do not believe the uninitiated are prepared for.

I don't think there's any question that Watchmen is the single greatest superhero story ever told. The mythos and history of heroes like Superman, Batman, and Spider-man may be more ingrained in our collective conscious, but none of those heroes have a story quite like Watchmen. No writer has been able to delve as deep into the psyche of the superhero with those characters. They're just too familiar, which is why it took Alan Moore creating an entirely new set of heroes for Watchmen. The reader needed no prior attachment. If Bruce Wayne was dealing with impotence, and could only get it up in the Batman suit, then that would have ruined the character forever. But if Nite Owl does it, well... who the hell is Nite Owl anyway?

I read Watchmen before I knew it was going to be adapted into a movie. It was something I had seen for years in book stores, and one day I just decided to research it. Once I read all the praise, I had to read it, and I couldn't be happy until I did. (SIDE NOTE: I get like that sometimes. I'll just get one thing stuck in my brain, and it is like I can't go on with my life until I've done or bought that one thing) Once I got around to buying it, I devoured it. Then I turned around and read it again immediately. I'd say that to this day I've read it anywhere from 8 to 10 times, and I'm currently rereading again.

When I first heard about the movie, I considered it unfilmable. I even went through and tried to find the the scenes that you could cut, and there just aren't any. I don't know how you go about adapting that book. However, from the early word, Zack Snyder has done it.

I read something the other day that said that Zack Snyder was the only man who could have made Watchmen, and while that might sound crazy, it's true. Now, he's not the best filmmaker. Not by a long shot. But he has one thing that other filmmakers don't have, and that is the fact that he turned 300 into a hit. He stuck to the source material, made a hard R-Rated movie, and the thing became a massive success. Now, he's proven his worth to the comic community, while proving that he can make an incredibly violent movie a hit. He is the only man for Watchmen, which is why he is the guy to finally bring it to the screen after 20+ years of development hell.

Needless to say, I'm excited. I can't wait to see it, and I can't wait to discuss it with people who know the book. I want to pick it apart and dissect it and see all the little things there for the fans. I can't wait to see this movie.

This is all for tonight

2009-02-25T03:15:00.002-05:00

I just noticed that after a record-breaking 2008 (208 total posts), I am slacking in the '09. Seven posts. Total. It is almost March and I've only bothered to post here seven times. Well, eight after this. Three of the now eight posts have come tonight, and I imagine half of those posts are just youtube videos. I figured being stuck at home without a job would make me some sort of prolific blogger. I guess not.

Friendly reminder

2009-02-25T03:14:00.002-05:00

In less than ten days, there will be a Watchmen movie in the world. A good Watchmen movie, from what I hear. A Watchmen movie that apparently features all the things that you thought a Watchmen movie could never feature. Sometimes it's good to be alive.

And the Oscar goes to...

2009-02-25T02:42:00.002-05:00

The last two recipients of the Academy Award for best visual effects went to WoW players. This year, it went to a guild leader.

Speaking of which, what the hell happened to the best visual effects category? Or the Oscars in general? Last year, the award went to The Golden Compass, which a.) no one saw, and b.) was vastly inferior to the effects in Transformers. This year, CG Brad Pitt beat out Iron Man. In 2005, Star Wars: Episode III wasn't even nominated. A lot of these smaller categories are the ones I care about most, and they continuously seem to go to THE WRONG MOVIES.

Let's look at another joke category, this time it is best original song. Now, in the past, the Academy has been pretty bold with its choices here, giving the award to Eminem in 2002 and Three 6 Mafia in 2005. This year, there were some terrific nominees. Peter Gabriel's fantastic "Down to Earth" from Wall-E was nominated, as was the equally amazing "O... Saya" from Slumdog Millionaire. Did the combined amazingness of these two songs split the voters, leaving the door open for the other song from Slumdog Millionaire that no one cares about?

I mean, last year, that category was full of amazing nominees, with three songs from Enchanted and "Falling Slowly", the best part of the overrated Once. Given the choice between that song and the three from Enchanted, I'd probably go with "Falling Slowly" too, just because I can't pick between those three songs.

But they've made some bonehead decisions in the past, such as not nominated songs from movies that are ABOUT MUSIC. In 2003, no song from School of Rock got a nomination. Sure, they're not the best song, but at least they're featured in the movie, and not played over the credits like the winner, Return of the King's "Into the West."

After Sunday night's show, I could ramble on about what is wrong with the Oscars for hours, but I won't do that. I will say this one thing. This year, the Academy Awards had a movie handed to them on a silver platter that could have given them a bit of much-needed street cred, while still pleasing critics. That movie is The Dark Knight. I know the movie got a lot of nominations, and won two awards, but if they had merely given the movie a best picture, best director, and best adapted screenplay nomination, they would have acknowledged not only the overwhelming success of the film, but the fact that it is one of, if not the best film of 2008. Honestly, who has seen or even heard of Milk, or The Reader? There were films nominated for big-time awards (Frozen River, Happy Go Lucky, The Visitor) that I, a MOVIE PERSON, did not even know existed until the nominations came out.

The Grammys wised up and threw some nominations towards some not only popular, but genuinely cool music. While they still chickened out and gave album of the year to Robert Plant and Allison Krauss, the fact that Lil' Wayne and Radiohead were in the same category instilled some kind of confidence in those awards. Maybe next year the Academy Awards will do the same, and throw some deserved attention to the movies that people actually care about.

Two men enter, one man leave

2009-02-18T13:18:00.001-05:00

The winner? You decide.

Pfft

2009-02-03T14:11:00.000-05:00

Part of me wishes this were real

2009-01-30T12:28:00.001-05:00

Honestly, this isn't THAT funny, but the concept is amazing. I feel like this actually could have been done and been a fantastic movie.

This happens every time I go to McDonald's

2009-01-15T14:48:00.000-05:00

R.I.P. EGM (1989 - 2009)

2009-01-06T23:02:00.002-05:00

I know I've been relatively quiet here lately, but this is just something I needed to talk about. Ziff-Davis Media today announced that they have sold the 1Up Network to UGO. To most people, that sentence does not make a lot of sense. Bear with me.

The 1Up Network is a series of websites and magazines focusing on videogames. 1Up.com is the flagship site, and Electronic Gaming Monthly is the flagship magazine. I've been reading EGM for nearly 12 years now. They have always been the final word in what games I buy. I trusted their writers more than any other magazine or website. Sadly, with the sale of the 1Up Network, EGM will be closing its doors, and with it nearly 40 members of the 1Up staff will be laid off.

Scanning the list of names that wouldn't make the transition, I noticed people I had read since I first picked up the magazine so many years ago. I saw names whose voices I had come to know through listening to 1Up podcasts. In a way, these people were like kindred spirits. They, like me, loved videogames so much that it drove them to write about them.

A truly great voice in the videogame industry has been lost. EGM was one of the few publications to stand in the face of advertisers. In the mid-90s, when Acclaim threatened to pull ads if EGM did not give their games better scores, EGM ran the reviews anyway. In a day and age where "exclusive" review rights typically means whoever is willing to give a new game the highest score, gamers need a publication like EGM.

This may sound a bit dramatic, but I feel like I have lost a friend. I only hope that 1Up will continue in its new home, and that all those who lost their jobs will find work quickly.

Gone for a minute

2008-12-09T04:02:00.002-05:00

Happy Birthday to me. I just finished the last assignment I'll ever do as a college student. Needless to say, I'm excited.

Today is my birthday.

I think I'm going to get an early start on my end of the year lists. I figure I've heard all the new music I'm going to hear in 2008, so I'd say that it is safe to go ahead with my best songs/albums list.

Now, I'm going to do this a bit different this year. Instead of listing my Top 10, I'm going to create my own categories, and offer my own rewards. I'll still get around to declaring the best song and album of the year, and there might be a runner up here and there, but I decided a while ago that I was going to do it this way.

Songs:

Song of the year: Lil Wayne - A Milli

A challenge to every MC out there, A Milli has been on constant repeat since Tha Carter III dropped in June. Weezy absolutely annihilates the beat, offering up some of the best, smartest, and strangest lyrics in hip-hop history. This was Lil Wayne's year, and now song was bigger or better than A Milli.

Runner-up: Katy Perry - Hot & Cold

Remix of the year: Santogold, M.I.A., and Gorilla Zoe - Get It Up (Radioclit Remix)

Proving once and for all that they are in fact two separate people, Santogold and M.I.A. collaborated over Gorilla Zoe's "Hood Nigga" on Diplo's "Top Ranking" mixtape. The song is predictably awesome, with M.I.A. screeching over elephant beats. This is the best song Santogold has released to date.

Best Song featuring Kanye West: Estelle - American Boy

Kanye West is nestled somewhere between Lil Wayne and T-Pain for most guest appearances this year, and this was certainly his best. I love the new album, and his turn on Young Jeezy's "Put On" is surprisingly heartbreaking, but this is just Kanye being Kanye, and the song was great to begin with.

Runner-up: Kanye West - Heartless

Best Rock Hybrind Song: The Raconteurs - Old Enough

It's nearly impossible to call any music just "Rock" these days. I mean, I'm sure the new Guns and Roses and AC/DC albums are pure "Rock", but I haven't heard them. This is a rock song with a big chunk of bluegrass thrown in, and its the best thing on their new album.

Runner-up: Vampire Weekend - Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa

Song I Feel Like I Should Like But Can't - Britney Spears - Womanizer

I can be a bit of a pop nerd, and find reasons to love Top 40 hits. This just isn't working for me. In fact, I think it's terrible. I long for the day where we have forgotten who Britney Spears is.

Best Rap Song Not Featuring Lil Wayne - Yung Joc and Hot Stylez - Lookin' Boy

The summer jam that kept on being a jam long after the summer had ended. Hot Stylez and Yung Joc do something which a lot of rappers try, and most fail; they make a truly funny rap song. Sprinkle in a ton of pop culture references and you've got something truly great.

Best Song of 2007 That Decided To Become A Hit in 2008 - M.I.A. - Paper Planes

I mean, is there any other answer? I'm still amazed that this is a hit based simply on the fact that it appeared in the Pineapple Express trailer (not the movie, mind you, the trailer). Still, no one deserves the attention more than M.I.A., and no song deserved it more than Paper Planes.

Runner-up: Radiohead - Reckoner

Albums:

Best Album of the Year: Lil Wayne - Tha Carter III

Like I'd say anything different. As I mentioned before, no one had a bigger 2008 than Lil Wayne, and he deserved all the success. After two and a half years of non-stop guest appearances and mixtape releases, Lil Wayne finally released the follow-up to Tha Carter II. The album certainly has its issues, and there are even a few duds, but this is as close as we got to a classic in 2008.

Runner-up: Girl Talk - Feed the Animals

Best Mixtape of the Year: Diplo & Santogold - Top Ranking

Santogold's debut album left a little to be desired, but here Diplo gives her the M.I.A. treatment. Not as good as Piracy Funds Terrorism, but what is? I think the test of a truly great mixtape is when you can't think of the songs in their original form, and that is certainly the case here.

Runner-up: Lil Wayne - The Drought is Over 6: The Reincarnation

Biggest Disappointment of the Year: Beck - Modern Guilt

Maybe I just wasn't in the mood for a new Beck album, but I listened to this twice and haven't bothered since. The idea of Beck and Danger Mouse working together sounded much better on paper than it did on record. This just wasn't working for me.

Best Album That I Don't Listen To Very Much: TV On The Radio - Dear Science

This album is like a trip through space. Its mostly slow, which I'm not always in the mood for. That being said, the thing is fantastic.

Album With the Best Opening Track: The Streets - Everything is Borrowed

The lead-off title track is amazing. Sadly, the same can't be said for the rest of the album.

Best Digital Album of 2007 that Saw Physical Release in 2008: Radiohead - In Rainbows

The CD was released on January 1, 2008. Part of me wants to say that it's the album of the year.

Biggest Surprise: Kanye West - 808s and Heartbreaks

Everything about this album screamed disaster to me. The Auto-Tune. No rapping. No samples. Kanye making a break-up album. I really loved Love Lockdown, but most of the tracks leaked after that were iffy at best. The whole thing comes together so well, though. It just works as ab album. A ton of polish also went into these songs between the leaks and the final versions. Not Kanye's best, but certainly interesting and a worthy addition to his catalog.

Well I'm done for now. I feel like whenever I get finished writing something these days, I feel the need to apologize for it. Its the same here. I'm just exhausted and so tired of writing. I need the break so that I can recharge and care about what I write again.

I reserve the right to change these awards as well as add new categories.

End of an era

2008-12-02T04:46:00.003-05:00

Today is my final day of class. Ever. In a little over a week I won't be a student. I'm over being scared and now I'm just excited. Finding a job is going to be tough, but at least I'll be out of here.

Yeah

2008-11-25T04:24:00.001-05:00

Kanye Mode: Initiated

2008-11-20T02:08:00.001-05:00

Probably the coolest thing to happen on the Grammys... um... ever.

808s and Heartbreaks

2008-11-20T02:02:00.000-05:00

"All of which brings us back round to the ‘Kid A’ comparison. Just as Radiohead found themselves feted by both the mainstream and cliquey elite, so West is courted by all areas of the media and scattered wide across our culture. Just as Radiohead chose their fourth album to begin exploring a rich seam of experimentation that escaped the straightjacket of a claustrophobic genre, so West has shirked hip-hop’s prevailing wind and sailed boldly off into thrilling new waters. And just as Radiohead sacrificed a modicum of commercial success to become one of our greatest musical exports, so Kanye has seen that an artist’s role is to do more than fill arenas and flog branded glowsticks. It is to articulate human emotions in a way that allows us all fresh insight - a rare goal, but one achieved here. Pretentious as fuck maybe; but that’s why we love him..."

2008-11-19T10:08:00.000-05:00

Graduating in the midst of an economic "crisis" scares me to death. I'm never going to find a job.

Ain't technology grand?

2008-11-18T04:35:00.001-05:00

Epic

2008-11-18T00:38:00.002-05:00

As you ought to know by now, the latest World of Warcraft expansion, Wrath of the Lich King, was released last week. The world of World of Warcraft is abuzz with all the new quests, zones, and instances. This is the first time I've been around for a WoW-related launch, and I must say it is very exciting to be exploring content before (or at least at the same time as) the rest of the world. I'm currently level 75, and will be 76 a few minutes after I log on tomorrow. I'm currently neck and neck with a Paladin in my guild for the highest level, and I hope to get to 80 before anyone else in my guild.

World of Warcraft is now 4 years old, and it seems to get more popular every year. The game has been refined to a point of, in my opinion, perfection. Blizzard realizes that there are different groups of people with different playing styles, and they have implemented aspects into the game to appeal to everyone.

What I want to talk about now is the things Blizzard has done right. So, coming at you right now, is a list of the 5 things Blizzard has done right with Wrath of the Lich King.

5 Things Blizzard has done right with Wrath of the Lich King:

The music - Gaming music is something that is too often forgotten. Besides a few classic themes and a few modern games with actual scores, music in games is either licensed or downright terrible. World of Warcraft is different. The music has always been great, but I think they have really outdone themselves this time. The music has similar themes, but seems to fit the different zones perfectly. To put it in Lord of the Rings terms, this music is similar to The Two Towers, with violins and pianos enhancing the snowy/wooden atmospheres. As usual, they went above in beyond here.
The design - Speaking of the atmosphere, the overall design of the continent of Northrend is great. A lot of people complain about Outlands' weird space theme (I don't know why, it was different, but I liked it). Going back to "Vanilla" WoW after Outlands really made the design issues of that game stand out. It just seemed boring in comparison. With Northrend, Blizzard seems to have hit the nail on the head. The diversity of the design in Burning Crusade meets the old world, medieval style of World of Warcraft. To me, that's perfect.
The quests - For the most part, the quests in Northrend are the same "Kill X amount of X" type quests, but there are a few truly epic questlines so far. For instance, after completing a line of quests in Dragonblight, your character goes to Fordragon Hold, where you watch Bolvar Fordragon call Arthas from the Wrath Gate... in a cinema! After the cinema, you are sent to Stormwind, where you join heroes in the Warcraft universe as a diplomat to the Horde. I don't want to spoil the end of the questline, but needless to say the story of WoW takes an interesting turn. Also, in order to solve the issue of the huge population in the game right now, many of the named mobs that must be killed in the game are now summoned. Rather than waiting around for a mob to spawn, you spawn it through a summon. Terrific idea.
The zones - I'm level 75, but I'm taking the content slowly. So far, I've only visited five zones within Northrend, and I've cleared all the quests in three of them. I'm hoping to hit 80 with a bunch of quests left so that I can make a ton of money. But that's besides the point. The zones in the game are superbly designed. Snowy peaks, misty forests, tundras, etc. all greet you in Northrend. As I mentioned with the overall design of the game, the zones are the perfect mesh of Old WoW and Burning Crusade.
Death Knight - If you have a level 55 character, you are able to create WoW's first Hero Class, the Death Knight. The Death Knight starts at 55, and has its own special starting zone. The starting zone is the culmination of everything I've mentioned before. The design, the quests, the zone, everything about the Death Knight is amazing. Other than the questline I mentioned earlier, the Death Knight quests are the most epic I've experienced in the game. Right now, I'm torn between leveling my Death Knight (he's currently 59) and Thumdar. I think Thumdar first, DK second.

If this all sounds a bit confusing, its because I'm exhausted and I'm listening to something. Writing is just hard for me right now. I want to do it, but when I do it just seems like a task. Hopefully once school is out and/or my life is in order, I can get back to normal.

Da Gap

2008-11-15T15:49:00.000-05:00

I got a big fucking head and I want a warm hat that'll fit it.

Revisiting

2008-11-15T12:36:00.002-05:00

It has been a while since I posted about WoW. Honestly, I haven't been playing a whole lot over the past 4 or 5 months. I let my subscription run out at the beginning of the summer, then picked it back up towards the end, and then let it run out again. I got back on a couple of weeks ago to prepare for the release of Wrath of the Lich King (the latest expansion, for those not in the know). In that short amount of time, I've accomplished a lot.

The main reason I got back on was to experience the world events leading up to the release of Wrath. At the time I got on, there was a zombie invasion spreading across the game. Mysterious crate suddenly appeared in some of the major cities. Players who touched them became infected, turning into zombies. They could then spread the infection to other players. Supposedly, it got to the point where all the players in the major cities were zombies.

I only experienced a little of the zombie invasion. What I did after coming back was start working on the Hallow's End quests. World of Warcraft has special holidays that coincide with holidays in the real world. Hallow's End is, of course, Halloween. So, I basically trick r' treated, rode around on a broomstick, and fought a headless horseman over and over again.

With the patch implemented in the game before Wrath, the achievement system was introduced. With achievements came new titles. I've always wanted a title for my character, but they're not easy to come by. The easiest one involves paying 1,000 gold so that you can become "'Blank' of the Shattered Sun", but that just seems pointless. The title I wanted was "the Explorer". To get that, you had to explore the entire world map, even the opposing faction's capital cities. As of right now, I have explored all of The Eastern Kingdoms, Kalimdor, Outlands, and I'm working on exploring the new continent of Northrend. I will be "Thumdar the Explorer" in no time.

One of the most exciting things I did during the wait for Wrath was run several raids I had never run before. I cleared fully cleared Karazhan after months of running about half of the raid. I then cleared Zul'Aman, Gruul's Lair, and Magtheridon with my guild. Finally, I'm able to say that I have completed a 25-man raid.

Right now I'm level 72 and working my way through the first two zones in Wrath of the Lich King. I'm sure I'll post more thoroughly about the expansion in the future, but for now I'd just like to say that Blizzard has outdone themselves. If the original game laid the foundation, and Burning Crusade refined it, then Wrath seems to have perfected it. Even at this early stage, I can see the polish that has gone into the game. I can't wait to get to endgame content.

Exuberance

2008-11-08T12:45:00.001-05:00

Exuberance.

The Day After

2008-11-07T15:58:00.002-05:00

Wednesday, my alarm went off at 8:15 a.m. I got up. I put my shoes on. I went to class. I came home. I napped. I ran some errands. I spent the evening with Caroline. I went to work. I got home. I went to sleep. It was a day just like any other day.

Sorry I'm such a pessimist.

2008-11-05T06:30:00.002-05:00

Yes, we witnessed history. No, the country isn't fucked. If there's anything I've learned in my very short life, it is that it matters very little who is the president of this country. "Change" is inevitable in the next four years, whether we like it or not. I only hope that this country picked the right man to deal with that.

Daunting

2008-11-04T01:52:00.000-05:00

My vote for president

2008-11-03T23:58:00.002-05:00

Later today, unlike most of the country, I will not be making my way to the polls to cast my vote for president. I will not stay up tonight until the next president of this country. And I certainly will not be getting together with like-minded people to celebrate or try to forget the results.

What will I be doing? I'll probably be watching horror movies, but that's beside the point. The point is that I will not be voting.

It isn't because I'm lazy. It isn't because I'm apathetic. No, I will not be voting tomorrow mainly because I no longer feel that I can take part in a system that continues to tear apart this country. In my opinion, the political party system will be the eventual downfall of the American society.

The American public has had it drilled into their head for nearly two years now that this will be the most important election of their lifetime, and possibly of all time. We've watched the same debates rage over and over again. We've heard the words "hope", "change", and "experience", as well as many others, repeatedly. And despite a candidate who claims to fight for an end to partisan bickering in Washington, the American public has retreated further and further behind party lines.

I will not be voting because I cannot, in good conscious, support men, women, or a system that continues to dangle pointless issues in front of our faces to distract us from the real issues. The fact that abortion is still an issue in this campaign not only shocks, but saddens me. More than 35 years after Roe v. Wade, the nation is still fighting its implications. Face it, people, that case will never be overturned. No matter what your stance on the issue is, the case should not be overturned. You can't introduce something like that to a society and then take it away from them. In all honesty, I believe that if you are going to the polls tomorrow simply because of the candidates' stance on abortion, I suggest you stay home.

To return to an idea I mentioned earlier, the continuing split of the nation based on party affiliation sickens and frightens me. Being divided into a red states and blue states seems like the ultimate insult in a rather insulting age. I can no longer take the high and mighty liberals who think they know the solution to every problem in the country, nor can I tolerate the conservatives who believe they are the only true Americans. The fact that political discourse in this country has devolved into name-calling and even downright dislike speaks volumes.

We now live in the age of the branded candidate. If you make enough t-shirts and slap them on enough supporters, soon enough you have a bandwagon effect unlike any other. At this point, we're not talking about politics anymore, we're talking about marketing. We're talking about advertising agencies deciding who will run the nation.

These are things that have been bothering me lately. I do not believe that simply because I'm an American I have to head to the polls tomorrow to vote for two men who represent me in no way. There are people out there who would say that if I don't vote tomorrow, then I have no right to complain. That's absolutely ridiculous. I'm probably more educated about the issues than your average voter, and I feel that gives me the right to voice my opinion by not voting. People often say that voting for president is a choice between the lesser of two evils. I say I shouldn't have to choose any evil.

I am only one person, and I know I'm not making any difference. However, I feel that if I'm not going to vote, I owe it to myself and to whoever out there reads me to explain why.

If you know what this election is about, and you know the candidates, and you know the issues, then get out and vote. I'm not trying to discourage you from that in any way. It is your right as an American, so do it. Get your free cup of Starbuck's while you're at it. But please, know who and why you're voting. You can call me lazy for not voting, but I can't tell you how many people I've talked to who are voting because this country needs a "Change." Now you tell me who's lazy.

This is even better

2008-10-28T03:41:00.000-04:00

We should guilt trip kids over here like this.

Oh snap

2008-10-28T03:37:00.001-04:00

I think I posted some of this about a year ago. This one is a doozy.

Too Soon

2008-10-28T02:48:00.002-04:00

Today is October the 28th. There are still more than two months left in the year. That still doesn't stop some publications/websites from getting an early jump on their end of the year lists.

Entertainment Weekly has a list of 32 of their reader's Entertainers of the Year. Since I'm obviously already behind, I guess I'll go ahead and provide a shortlist of who could make my list of Entertainers of the Year.

Potential Entertainers of the Year:

Music Division:

Lil' Wayne - No one has held sway over my CD player like Lil' Wayne has since Tha Carter III came out in June.
Girl Talk (Gregg Gillis) - Not only did he release one of the best albums of the year, but I think its safe to say that his tour is the most entertaining thing to happen to 2008.
Santogold - Unavoidable. Unescapable. A decent debut album, but her mixtape with Diplo is the stuff of legends.
M.I.A. - No new music, but somehow Paper Planes is a hit more than a year after its initial release.

Film Division:

Robert Downey, Jr. - Iron Man was one of those roles that made an established star into a mega-star, sort of like Johnny Depp's Jack Sparrow. His performance in Tropic Thunder was the funniest thing of the year.
Heath Ledger - Well, he died, but his performance made The Dark Knight the biggest movie of the decade.
Christopher Nolan - He directed the biggest movie of the decade.
Christian Bale - He played the title character in the biggest movie of the decade.
Harrison Ford - I've said it before and I'll say it again; there's just something so reassuring about watching Harrison Ford being beaten to a pulp on the big screen.

Television Division:

Tina Fey - Her show is funny, and she looks a lot like Sarah Palin.
Steve Carrel - In a post-Jim and Pam world, Michael Scott is what keeps me coming back every week.
Matthew Fox - Lost cemented its position as the best show on TV with the stellar first season, and he's the face of the show.

Wild Card Division:

China - I've never been a fan of the summer Olympics. This year, that was very different.
World of Warcraft - The game turns 4 this November. This year, Blizzard gave us two content patches with more content than most $60 games, and the expansion is still to come.
Budweiser American Ale - An American beer that's comparable in taste to Samuel Adams for $2 less. In these trying economic times, that's important.
Wall-E - He's a computer-animated robot, but he's got a lot of heart.

There you have it. There's still a good two months to enter the competition for Entertainer of the Year. All you entertainers out there, get started on some masterpiece of some kind and maybe you'll be in the running too.

Boring

2008-10-24T08:48:00.002-04:00

I might have done this before, but I saw it on someone else's blog and I want to do it again, so back off.

Here's how it goes. Put your Itunes on shuffle, take the first lyric from the first 30 songs that pop up, then you get to guessing.

1. Don't worry, I won't hurt you. I only want you to have some fun.

2. Can you tell me where my country lies?/ Said the uniform to his true love's eyes

3. A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous, got me?

4. See me ride out of the the sunset on your color TV screen.

5. The mongrel cat came home, holding half a head.

6. Didn't know what time it was and lights were low.

7. Can you keep a secret from them other people if I tell you 'bout wha-gwan?

8. Oh, you gonna take me home tonight/ Oh, down beside that red firelight

9. Mr. West is in the building/ Swagga on a hundred, thousand, trillion

10. Words coming forth like water from a tap

11. I'm with 101 niggas, we dalmation doggy deep

12. Just plug me in like I was Eddie Harris/ You're eating crazy cheese like you think I'm from Paris

13. It was all a dream, I used to read Word Up! magazine/ Salt n' Pepa and Heavy D up in the limousine

14. She said she want some Marvin Gaye, some Luther Vandross, a little Anita will definitely set this party off right

15. One more time

16. I got a rabbit it likes to hop/ I got a girl and she likes to shop

17. Born a poor young country boy, "Title of song"

18. Benny Boom turn that bass up louder/ To every single titty jiggle harder

19. First of all, wanna thank my connect/ Most important person, with all due respect

20. Got no need for the fancy things, or the attention that it brings

21. Well I've been waiting, waiting here so long

22. Its amazing how you can speak right to my heart

23. We are not the same, I am a martian.

24. 10 years ago, on a cold dark night, there was someone killed 'neath the town hall lights.

25. Soulja Boy tell 'em/ Right now its going down

26. I'll be damned. Hey, this my favorite motherfucking song on the album.

27. I be on it all night, man, I be on it all day

28. I need a Winn-Dixie grocery bag full of money right now to the VIP section

29. Did you ever see the faces of the children? They get so excited.

30. Welcome to your life, there's no turning back.

And just so you know, these weren't the first 30 songs that popped up. I skipped around a little (and sometimes a lot) to get songs that I think at least some people would know and didn't have their title in the first line (except in a few cases). Enjoy.

The best thing you will see today

2008-10-23T14:52:00.001-04:00

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

He's quick, he's strong, he's active

2008-10-23T04:05:00.001-04:00

News Flash

2008-10-23T03:21:00.000-04:00

Halloween > Psycho

Also, why doesn't anyone comment on my stories anymore?

Goodbye

2008-10-23T03:06:00.002-04:00

Everyday, the fact that I'll be graduating and done with my education for-fucking-ever sinks further and further into my brain. Like, this is really happening.

I was walking home on a Friday night late last semester when I realized that college had run its course. I had outgrown this place. I'm now older than probably 95% of the undergraduates on this campus, and I just don't relate to these people like I used to. Sure, I still like to have fun, and I'm probably clinging to that idea now moreso than I was then, but it is not my chief focus. I'm going to have to start worrying about jobs and bills and loans very soon.

I have to get out of here. But, there will be things I'll miss. That is unavoidable. I feel like I'm the type of person who spends far too much time looking forward and not enough time focusing on what I have here and now. So, I'd like to make a little list of the things I will miss about college. And just so you don't think I'm being too nostalgic or optimistic, I'll also be listing the things I won't miss at all.

Things I'll Miss About College:

The ever-flowing beer.
The unprecedented amount of freedom, and the irresponsibility that allows.
The community of my "peers."
Living in close proximity to people that matter to me.
Access to high-class amenities (i.e. on-campus rec centers).
The overall atmosphere of a college campus.
Living within walking distance of a number of entertainment options.
The sense that I could meet someone new and interesting at any given moment (although I guess that never really goes away).
The number of cheap food options available for students (believe me, I'll hold onto my student ID until it shatters, or until no one believes I'm a college student anymore).
A sense of isolation from the rest of the city.
Spontaneity.

Things I won't miss about college:

Fraternities and sororities (although I guess these become the people I will hate later in life).
The sense of entitlement most college students my age have.
Working until 5 in the morning.
The sometimes unbearable and inconsiderate work load.
The food.
The financial dependence.
The complete lack of a normal living schedule.
The immaturity of many of the people here.
The constant mix-ups and wranglings that come with attending any large university.
The back and forth nature of basically having two homes.

I'm sure there's more, but that's really it. The shortness and not quite negative nature of that second list kind of makes me feel good about myself.

I was laying in bed today for my bi- (or sometimes tri-)weekly nap, and the UT band was keeping me from falling asleep. I didn't get upset, I just thought about what a unique experience that was.

Master of none

2008-10-23T02:52:00.002-04:00

In World of Warcraft, I play as a Druid. The class is versatile, with the option to take on the role of tank, DPS, healer, or caster. This makes them a sort of "Jack of All Trades", but without a doubt, a master of none.

This might sound incredibly lame, but as I search for a job, I feel a bit like a Druid. I have experience that qualifies me for a number of jobs, but not enough focus in one particular field to make me truly viable for most job openings.

The job market is scary. With the economy on a continual downturn, I worry that I will be unable to find a job that will provide the sort of life I'm looking for out of college. And honestly, I'm not looking for much. I just want a nice apartment with enough room for me, an HDTV (which will hopefully be my graduation gift), and enough disposable income to buy the occasional DVD or videogame. Really, that isn't much to ask.

And a lot of jobs fit those criteria. I mean, I could work 40 hours a week at Best Buy and probably do those things, but I don't want to work at Best Buy. I want to work somewhere that is fun and exciting and has a need for my many diverse skills. I'm willing to learn the things that I'm not great at along the way, but is any employer willing to take a chance on me.

I found a terrific job with a Christian record label that is a subsidiary of Sony/BMG music in Franklin. I don't want to jinx it, but the job looks great, and I have experience in everything they're looking for. Well, except for an interest in Christian music. But hey, I love music. And I think I can bring that passion for music to this kind of job. So what I don't like Christian music. I go to church sometimes. Shouldn't that be enough?

I'd love for this to work out. Franklin/Brentwood/Nashville seems like a great area, and I'd be directly in between home and girlfriend, and right now I think that's what I need. I also need stability. Like 9 to 5 Monday through Friday kind of stability. None of this waking up at 8, finishing class at 2, napping until 5, eating lunch at 6, eating dinner at 11, then working from midnight to 5 shit. I'm on the edge of a nervous breakdown. I can't handle that schedule anymore. Honestly, I'm not sure anyone can. I wasn't made to live this way.

Life updates are few and far between on this here blog, but this has been what's going on with me. How are you?

Honesty

2008-10-21T15:43:00.002-04:00

Let me get on my soapbox for a second.

The cult of Obama scares me.

Not Obama himself. I'm not voting, but if someone held a gun to my head and told me I had to vote, he would be my definite choice. The cult of admiration around him is what scares me.

Its not that I don't think there are people out there who know what he stands for and what he will mean for the country, I just think there are enough people out there following him blindly because he's drilled the words "Hope" and "Change" into the collective consciousness. Do these people really know what that change is? Or are we just so downtrodden that all you have to do is say those words enough times and people will follow you wherever you lead them?

Look, I don't think Obama is a terrorist. I don't think he'll make Islam the national religion. I don't think we'll start bombing Israel as soon as we're elected. I think he's a genuinely great guy who has the CHANCE to make a big difference.

I say, if you want to, vote for the guy. Just please know why you're doing it.

The world is an interesting place.

2008-10-21T04:01:00.000-04:00

Boo.

2008-10-21T01:07:00.002-04:00

Halloween is less than two weeks away. That means I'm surviving on a steady diet of horror movies. Caroline and I hit up Best Buy's super cheap horror movie sale and came home with a ton of new movies. I picked up two or three I had never seen before. I'm working my way through those right now.

Good horror movies are probably my favorite movies. Hell, I probably like bad horror movies better than I like good horror movies. There's just something about buckets of gore that makes a movie automatically entertaining.

I want to talk about my favorite horror movies, but I don't think I want to list them. I'm just going to kind of... talk about them. If you're planning any sort of Halloween get-together within the next couple of weeks (I'm planning two), you might want to give some of these a shot. Actually, some of them you probably want to avoid. The fun thing about watching horror movies is watching with a group that knows the scares. If you've got movies like that and a cool group of friends, watch those movies. Here are the movies I'd like to watch.

Stuart's Favorite Horror Movies:

Cannibal Holocaust - Let's start this list off right with the single most disturbing movie I've ever seen. This is far from one of my favorite movies, but I have to put it on here because it is my single greatest movie achievement. I should get a shirt that says "I Survived Cannibal Holocaust." This is one of the most notorious and controversial movies ever made. It was banned in 40+ countries. If I'm not mistaken, the director was threatened with arrest unless he proved the actors were not killed on film. The actors had signed contracts that would keep them out of movies for a year, but were forced to appear on Italian TV just to prove they weren't dead. All that is nice and good, but the real horror here is the honest-to-goodness animal brutality. The turtle scene haunts me to this day. This is one of those movies that no sane person should ever watch.
Evil Dead/Evil Dead II - Even after years and years and ever-increasing budgets, these two films remain the ultimate proof of Sam Raimi's manic genius. The first film, made for $350,000, is one of the most ingenious movies ever made. The simple techniques used here are unrivaled. Evil Dead II is like a Looney Tunes cartoon in a horror movie setting. I don't know anyone who has seen it who doesn't love it.
Night of the Living Dead - THE modern horror movie, and it still holds up 40 years later. This just breaks every horror movie rule imaginable. Its still scary, and its still inspiring movies to this day.
Dawn of the Dead - As good as Night of the Living Dead is, I prefer Dawn of the Dead. This one is on the shortlists of sequels that are (arguably) better than the first film (Godfather, Part II, Empire Strikes Back, The Two Towers... again, arguably...). There's more overt social commentary here than in Night, but that doesn't mean its any less scary. The gore effects were revolutionary at the time, and still provide some of the greatest shock moments in any horror movies. This is probably one of my five favorite movies of all time.
Suspiria - If we're talking greatest horror movies, then this has to be pretty close to the top of any list... but we're not listing. The thing that really gets me about this movie is the colors. The reds are so red. The blacks are so black. You know how in most horror movies, things pop literally from nowhere? Not here. There's a scene where the lead character walks down a dark corridor and she is attacked by a killer in black. But as I was saying, the blacks are so black, you spend half a moment wondering if you actually saw something behind her before it jumps out and grabs her. Its one of the best scares in any movie ever, but explaining why a scene in a movie is scary is like explaining why a joke is funny. Oh, and there's this scene with a dog that scares the shit out of me, and I don't get scared. You owe it to yourself to see this one.
The Thing - Don't get me wrong, I love the 1951 original. Its one of my favorite sci-fi/horror movie from that era. My love for that movie kept me from watching John Carpenter's 1982 remake for a long time. I'm glad I did, because what I got was a remake that rethinks and yet complements the source material. Its both incredibly faithful and completely different at the same time. The only phrase that comes to mind when I'm trying to describe this movie to people is "fucking awesome."
Haxan: Witchcraft Through the Ages - Now we're getting into stuff you've never heard of. This Swedish film was released in 1922, and is a semi-documentary about the history of witchcraft. The devils and demons are cheesy compared to modern films, but they genuinely scare me to death. Honestly, its kind of hard for me to write about this one. I can't describe just how it makes me feel, so here's a short clip.

Audition - Some movies I wish I could go back and watch without any prior knowledge. This is one of them. If no one had told me, or I had no idea, just WHAT was coming, this movie would have lured me into a false sense of security. For an hour and 45 minutes of its two-hour running time, this could easily be mistaken for a weird, Japanese Lifetime movie. Then for those last 15 minutes, it decides to just... destroy your brain. This is torture porn with the most finesse.
Poltergeist - This one confuses me. For a while its a ton of fun with some genuine frightening moments. Then there are Muppets. It does have one of the great bait-and-switch endings in horror, but sometimes it just feels too much like a Spielberg movie and not a Tobe Hooper movie.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Let's move from tame Tobe Hooper to Tobe Hooper's masterpiece. I don't think any movie has more of an undeserved negative reputation than Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I mean, that is the most brilliant title ever, but really, there's very little massacre, and none of it involves a chainsaw. It is set in Texas. Its just a scary, creepy, totally awesome flick. I love it.
The Devil's Rejects - Rob Zombie, as a director, scares me. I saw House of 1,000 Corpses and dug it until the awful ending. Then, this came along. Listen, monsters and boogeymen don't scare me, but freaks and maniacs who are going to kidnap you and do horrible things to you, more often than not of a sexual nature... well that scares me. That shit happens. Not everyday, but it happens. This is one of those movies that I'd suggest putting on your "Don't Watch" list.
Halloween - The movie that literally "started it all." This is another movie with a bad reputation that is probably undeserved. Its far less gory than the sequels and copycats that followed it. The only thing I can think to compare this to is a Hitchcock movie. Here, John Carpenter crafts a slasher flick to rival (and possibly top) Psycho. If you haven't seen this, you should.
Nightmare on Elm Street - One of the few movies to be released in the wake of Halloween to really set itself apart. I just watched this earlier tonight, and this movie has some of the most disturbing sequences in mainstream horror. The first death scene is so original and so frightening. Freddy Krueger is kind of a joke, but whatever.
Freaks - Here's another example of REAL horror. The actors in this movie are real circus "freaks." This is the epitome of exploitation, and its one of my all-time favorite movies. You could never ever ever in a million years get this movie made today.
28 Days/Weeks Later - 28 Days Later was an amazing breath of fresh air in the horror genre. It felt like a real 21st century zombie movie. These were zombies who could chase you down, and the whole thing looked like it had been shot on security cameras. I was incredibly resistant to a sequel, but in many ways I think 28 Weeks tops the original. The scenes in the dark are the darkest dark scenes I've ever seen. You can't see shit. Its awesome.
Jacob's Ladder - This, along with the next film on the list, are like bad dreams. When its all said and done and the movie is over, you can't quite remember what happened. What was supposed to be real and what wasn't. As I try to recall the movie right now, I find myself thinking if some scenes were dreams or reality. Its that kind of movie.
Videodrome - The awesome thing about Cronenberg movies is that they associate sex with horror. I think we need more movies like that. There wouldn't be as many teen pregnancies. Like Jacob's Ladder, there's a great deal of confusion here. Did James Woods really just shove a gun inside the vagina inside his chest? Is an evil TV conglomerate really feeding him VHS tapes telling him to kill certain people? I don't know about you, but this is my kind of movie.
Pan's Labyrinth - This is gothic horror at its most beautiful. Everything about this movie, from the Franco-era Spain setting, to the creatures we encounter, to the bleak nature of the whole thing is just terrifying. The ending is both incredibly depressing and uplifting at the same time.

Sadly, I think that's all I've got. There may be an update to this at some point as I think of other spooky movies. I really didn't go into any movie made before Night of the Living Dead. While that is a truly revolutionary movie, its not like it invented the scare. So yeah, I'd say keep your eyes peeled for future updates.

That's me!

2008-10-18T15:15:00.000-04:00

2:28, that's me and my crew at the front of the line.

Politics + Comedy = Disaster

2008-10-17T00:09:00.000-04:00

More more more

2008-10-16T17:25:00.001-04:00

This is what I did last night. What did you do? Watch the debate? Oh, sorry.

Chasing the Dragon

2008-10-16T14:24:00.003-04:00

There are moments or events in life where going on afterwards seems almost impossible. If you ever get to see Girl Talk live, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.

Somehow, Knoxville ended up being a stop on Greg Gillis' (that's Girl Talk's real name) current tour. Thanks to the internet, I knew of the epic nature of every Girl Talk gig. I knew about everyone joining Greg onstage. I knew about the stripping down to your underwear. I also knew I wanted to experience that, so I arrived (along with others) nearly 2 hours before the doors opened.

There was no one there. I had expected a huge line, and had originally planned on arriving at the venue around 3 in the afternoon. Luckily, I didn't do that. We were the first people in line, which led to us being the first people in front of the stage, and some of the first people on stage. But we'll get to that later.

When we pulled up to park, the guy who we (mistakenly) paid to park said they were expecting 1,200 people tonight. I wouldn't be surprised if there were more than that, as I think the venue sold extra tickets, even though the show was "sold out".

So we got in line. We waited. Greg Gillis walked by the front. I didn't know what to do. What do you say to someone you really admire? Do you freak out like a 13-year-old girl who gets to meet Justin Timberlake, or do you quietly and calmly tell him how much you admire what he does? In my case, I did neither. I just sat there.

More and more people started to arrive, and we were at the front of them all. The doors opened around 7:30, and I made a line for the stage. We firmly established our spot at the front of the stage (which would result in A LOT of pushing as the show got nearer). The first band, Hearts of Darkness, went on at about 8:30. They sucked. They were too loud. I couldn't hear anything they did, it was just noise. Luckily they didn't play for very long. They did have a pretty cool video presentation involving a dead pig and some flies, though.

After Hearts of Darkness came Grand Buffet, a white, Juggalo hip-hop group. They were fun for a second, but then more and more of their Juggalo nature began to seep into their music and stage show. It got annoying and old fast. I say if you're a 30-year-old white rapper who hasn't made it big yet, its time to join corporate America.

At 10:30, Girl Talk hit the stage. Since we were right at the front, we were the recipients of many a high-five during his get-the-crowd-amped-up-pre-show period. Soon after that, there was a massive rush. It was all a blur, but somehow Caroline, Meredith, and I all ended up on stage.

I had done it. I had achieved Girl Talk concert zenith. Dancing on a stage with a hundred maniacs is too much fun. But after about 20 minutes, the crowd, the heat, and the fact that it was pretty hard to hear up there kind of got to us, so we made our way back to the crowd.

That was a good decision. Being in a crowd of 1,000+ people all dancing and moving to music you can actually hear is more fun than actually being on stage. Also, it was really cool to watch the people up on stage. They're as important to the show as Greg or the music.

I can say that a Girl Talk is not as twitchy and fast-paced as a Girl Talk album. Sure, there's never a moment where you're not dancing or moving, but things develop differently. Most of the music is variations of stuff on the album. Of course, he throws in songs that have come out since then. For instance, there was a great moment where A Milli was played over Say It Ain't So, and an even better moment where Swagga Like Us was combined with Jockin' Jay-Z, and the ultimate moment when Paper Planes and Grindin' came together. But it never reaches the insanity level of the albums, where sometimes 6 or 7 samples are being played simultaneously. And that's perfectly fine. The vibe of the entire show is more party than concert. The DJ, in this case Greg Gillis, is less important than the music, and the music is less important than the people. That being said, Greg does an amazing job of putting on a show. He's a maniac, and I only wish I'd been able to watch him more. If I ever get to go to a Girl Talk show again, I think I'll find my way to the middle of the crowd and just dance and soak up the experience.

I hope I get to see him again. I sweat more than I have in a long time. When we left the show, my shirt felt like it had been dipped in water. My ears have stopped ringing, but I can't really hear. Everything sounds incredibly hollow, like I'm listening to everything through a long wooden box. Last night, when we left the show, I was screaming when I spoke to compensate for the fact that I couldn't hear a thing.

The show was fantastic. I can't believe that much fun was only $15. If fun could be measured in units, I'd say that show had more "fun units" per dollar than anything I've ever experienced.

I snapped a few pictures with my phone. They're blurry, but I honestly think they capture the utter insanity of the show. Blogger is being funny and won't let me upload them, but I'll post them here soon.

Girl Talk

2008-10-16T00:53:00.001-04:00

Fun. Deaf. On stage. High fives. Amazing. Dancing. Sweat. Can't hear. Can't speak. Can't walk. Need a shower. Too tired. Fading fast. Best night ever.

Tonight.

2008-10-15T15:16:00.001-04:00

I posted this about a year ago, but I don't care. TONIGHT!

Shake that booty meat

2008-10-01T00:56:00.001-04:00

Mesmerizing.

Another Way To Die

2008-10-01T00:49:00.001-04:00

Featuring Jack White on drums!

Hierarchy

2008-09-30T23:48:00.002-04:00

Lost: 1>4>2>3

The Office: 2>1>3>4

Battlestar Galactica: 2>3>4>1

I have spoken.

UPDATE (10/6/08): Wait wait wait. That's not what I meant at all. Battlestar should go like this:

2>1>3>4

And the Office should go like this:

2>3>4>1

So they flip-flopped. I guess I got confused.

NO NO NO NO NO

2008-09-30T03:29:00.001-04:00

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!

The horror

2008-09-30T01:42:00.002-04:00

Did anyone else get to watch this as a child? Honestly, what is wrong with the 70s? Who decided a bunch of TV "creative types'" LSD-induced visions would make for good children's programming? And why have we been living with it ever since. Seriously, this shit still gives me nightmares. And I don't mean that in no nice way.

Aye, Verily

2008-09-29T01:32:00.003-04:00

It was literally just announced that Kenneth Branagh is finalizing negotiations to direct the Thor movie. If that doesn't quite register with you, its basically a huge get for the franchise, and only makes the prospect of an Avengers movie all the more appealing.

So we've got a great Iron Man movie directed by Jon Favreau, a decent Hulk movie directed by some French guy that makes action flicks, and now what would seem to be a wonderful Thor movie directed by Kenneth Branagh. The only thing that's left is Captain America.

There have been no announcements for who will direct or star in a Captain America. Of course there have been rumors, ranging from Steven Spielberg directing to Will Smith starring (luckily, that proved to be false). So who should be directing and starring in a Captain America movie? Well, Spielberg would be perfect, but he's a busy fellow. Ridley Scott could definitely do it. Everyone I can think of is already attached to a superhero franchise. Bryan Singer is presumably still involved with the Superman films. Christopher Nolan has Batman on lock. Sam Raimi looks like he'll be back for Spider-man 4 and 5.

Captain America has to be big, though. And it has to be set in WWII. Marvel cannot pull a Fantastic Four with this one. I need a big-name director. I also need a big-name star. But who could play Captain America? Well, the first person that comes to mind is Brad Pit, but he's getting... "old". Matt Damon could do it. I don't think this movie needs a newcomer. I think there ought to be a huge star for this one. All-American. Chiseled features. Blonde.

But, yeah, I'm not sure where I was going with this. Kenneth Branagh, though. That's cool.

Went boldly

2008-09-27T13:50:00.002-04:00

I have been in a huge Star Trek mood of late. I don't know why, but the only movies I will watch right now must have Star Trek in the title. I have purchased 8 of the 10 Trek films (skipped the last two), and the only one I haven't watched since I bought them is First Contact.

For absolutely no reason, I'm now going to rate the Trek films (original crew only).

Star Trek: The Motion Picture - 7 out of 10 - When I was young, this movie used to bore me to tears. Now that I'm older, I realize it has a very interesting story and serves as a great reintroduction to all of the original cast members. Spock's triumphant return to the (recently renovated) Enterprise is particularly fun. It must have been a thrill to see this stuff on the big screen.

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan - 9 out of 10 - For many, this is the ultimate Trek film. They might be right. Khan is probably the best villain in all the movies. Plus, the space battles are fantastic. Enterprise + Reliant = Awesome.

Star Trek III: The Search for Spock - 6 out of 10 - This feels like a transitional film, like its taking us from the all-out-awesome of II to the fun of IV. Still, there's cool stuff here. It just doesn't feel epic enough.

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home - 8 out of 10 - The cool thing about II, III, and IV is that they're all direct sequels. IV serves as an appropriate end to the arc started in II. The tone of this movie is more in line with some of the goofier episodes of the original series, and that's alright with me. Also, there are whales.

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier - 2 out of 10 - A nightmare on so many levels. The story is bad. The acting is worse. Even the special effects are weak. Without a doubt the worst of the original crew films. Probably the worst Trek movie overall, but I've never seen Nemesis.

Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country - 10 out of 10 - In my opinion, the ultimate Trek film. The story is very cool, as is the looming threat that this will be the final mission of the original Enterprise crew. The production values are through the roof. The Excelsior is awesome. The Klingon Bird of Prey is amazing. This was one of my favorite movies as a kid, and has only gotten better as I've gotten older.

I don't need drugs.

2008-09-26T01:04:00.001-04:00

I have Speed Racer.

WHOO-HOO!

2008-09-24T01:15:00.001-04:00

AWESOME!!!

Music

2008-09-24T00:58:00.002-04:00

I feel so incredibly moved by music right now. To the point where I am unable to sleep. I swear I'm not on drugs or anything (unless you count cough syrup), but I feel like I'm connecting on a deeper level than I ever have before.

I just finished listening to the new TV on the Radio album, Dear Science. As I lay in bed, I felt these visions (yes, visions) wash over. Distinct visions that changed with each song.

Now I just have iTunes on shuffle, and each song is another new world for me to explore.

Again, I promise that I am not on drugs.

Dearest friends of mine,

2008-09-23T01:45:00.003-04:00

That's right! You know who you are. So, I think it's safe to say that this weekend was a blast. I hope that we'll all get back together sooner rather than later. Until then, I'd like for you all to take a look at this short list of things I feel we all need to do together at some point:

1. Karaoke (for reals)
2. Bowling
3. Knoxville Party Cruise
4. Miniature Golf
5. Strip Club (debatable)
6. Casino

Really, that's all I have for now. I'll continue to update this list as more ideas come to me. Feel free to comment on these and add your own.

Away

2008-09-22T16:20:00.000-04:00

The sad thing about amazing weekends is that they eventually end. It's even worse when they end and the next day, you get sick.

Tubular

2008-09-17T03:45:00.002-04:00

You know what the best part about staying up until 4 in the morning when you have class at 9 the next morning?

Trick question. There is no best thing.

I feel like I only get on here to complain these days. I also feel like every post has to have a statement that begins with "I feel like".

Oh, and why do I have the worst luck with roommates? Seriously, I went from the guy who refused to clean and played Rock Band by himself until the wee hours of the morning to the guy who showers three or more times a day (sometimes twice within two hours) and can't go 30 seconds without coughing.

I'm waiting for the adult fairy to show up in my sleep and say, "surprise, you're a grown-up now!"

Space.

2008-09-16T04:23:00.001-04:00

Don't bother me, I'm watching Star Trek.

I am not prepared

2008-09-15T11:36:00.000-04:00

Finally.

Emotionality

2008-09-13T15:06:00.003-04:00

Man, sucks that I don't find the time to post here very often. I think its a combination of not having as much free time as I thought I would and not having a whole lot to say. Spore happened. That was exciting. The fourth season of The Office came out. It hasn't left my DVD player.

I think its funny and sad that when I talk about my life, its never what's happening with me, but whatever new "toy" is out.

I think I'm going to stop playing WoW for a while. I want to give it a rest until the expansion. I just don't have the motivation to play.

Honestly, right now my goal is to soak up as much of the college experience as I possibly can before I have to start being responsible. That means lots of drinking and staying up late. Fun? I'm not really sure.

For some reason I can't write at the moment, so I'm going to cut this short. Hopefully I'll be back one of these days.

Man, that don't mean shit

2008-09-11T01:54:00.002-04:00

I'm an unapologetic Kanye fan, supporter, and defender, so you might want to take this next statement with a grain of salt.

I fucking love "Love Lockdown." Maybe I could do without the auto-tuned vocals (seriously, why does everyone use this now?), but its the freshest and most original hip-hop track in a while. Can you even call it hip-hop? I'm not quite sure.

"808's and Heartbreaks" comes December 16, according to Amazon.

Createlutionism

2008-09-09T02:15:00.002-04:00

As many of you probably know, the most-anticipated PC game of the year was released this Sunday. Spore, the latest game from Will Wright (who brought us every game with "Sim" in the title), now gives us what was once known as "SimEverything". While it doesn't quite deliver on that promise, the game has a lot to offer.

Strap in, this is probably going to be a long one.

Spore has been in development for seven years, and was first demoed to the public nearly four years ago. The game we now have in our hands is a very different one from the one we were promised in that first demo. The basic gameplay principles are there, but its been streamlined (a fancy word for dumbed down) to appeal to a more "casual" audience. The editors are not quite as complex as they were originally intended (although the amount of creativity they allow are almost limitless). Some editors have been cut (namely the flora editor). Phases have been cut. Procedural animations are not as amazing as they were promised to be. Judging by these statements, the game sounds like a failure; an epic experiment that fails to deliver on its many promises.

To a certain extent, that statement is true. The game does feel like a failed experiment sometimes. However, Spore is the definition of "greater than the sum of its parts". Taken individually, the phases your creature goes through (of which there are five: cell, creature, tribe, civilization, and space) are pretty simplistic. Cell stage is a fancy, pretty version of Pac-Man. This phase can be played through in a matter of minutes. Next, you're on to the creature phase, where your single-celled organism (who has become more and more complex during the short span of cell phase) can now grow legs and make its way on to land. Here, your creature continues to evolve, as well as develop relationships with creatures from your own species and others. There are two ways to deal with the other species of your new home. You can either attack them or engage in simple minigames to form alliances with these species. Once you've attacked or impressed enough species, your creatures form into a tribe. Here, the evolution stops and the gameplay switches to a simple real-time strategy style. You send members of your tribe out to collect food. You also deal with neighboring tribes by either peaceful or aggressive methods. After that, civilization phase plays like, well, Civilization. You build your city, keep your citizens happy, and take over neighboring kingdoms through war, religious conversion, or by buying them out. Once you have overthrown every kingdom on your home planet, you take off to outer space. The space stage holds the largest chunk of the game. I've only just started playing this phase, but the overall goal is to literally control the galaxy and reach the "center of the universe".

The individual phases are all very simple, and you can make it to space phase in around 3 or 4 hours if you're not bothering to take your time with the creators. But that's not the point of the game. My enjoyment of the game thus far has come from crafting my own species. Not only am I able to design exactly what they look like, but I am able to create their buildings, their vehicles, and even the clothes they wear once they become a "civilized" society.

While the game initially planned to offer even more customization features, the amount of options here are almost overwhelming. The editing tools in Spore are like an open sketchbook where you can literally broadcast your imagination.

And I am taking those tools very seriously. I chose to make my first race an aggressive race. As I progressed through the evolutionary chain, I started adding features that I felt would be necessary for my race to survive, such as sharp claws, spikes, dagger teeth, and even beady, mean-looking eyes. When it came time to dress my tribe, I put them in warrior masks, and then in gladiator masks when they advanced to a civilization. Their buildings are all very utilitarian with little to no flare. Their vehicles, however, are incredibly gaudy with big guns and annoying colors. Their spaceship, which is the pinnacle of their evolutionary design, is a downright mess. But that was a decision I made. I felt that if this race was going to make its presence known on an intergalactic scale, they'd want the spaceship equivalent of a lowrider with chrome rims. That's what they got.

Spore overcomes many of the problems with games like this have encountered in the past. For instance, let's take Will Wright's last breakthrough game, The Sims. For anyone who doesn't know, The Sims let you create a person, build them a home, and then develop a life around them. While it was certainly a revolutionary idea, the whole concept lacked focus. Building a house in a game was fun, but what I was supposed to do after that was neither clearly defined nor any fun. There were no goals. The game was basically a dollhouse.

Spore, on the other hand, has goals. The goal of each phase is to advance to the next one. Along the way, you collect items to make your creature better. The collection aspect of the game kept me playing the creature phase long after I was ready to evolve and move on. I wanted the full suite of creation options at my disposal, and it took a bit of extra work.

Rather than presenting us with a universe and telling us to "go play", Spore has presented us with a universe and given us objectives to reach in that universe. There is definitely a game in Spore. While the creation tools are definitely the main draw, there are things to do with your creations. The game might not be incredibly deep (in fact, I'd go so far as to call the first four stages shallow... fun, but shallow), but at least Will Wright realized that we needed something to do with all of the creatures we were making.

The thing that's really kept me wanting to play Spore is the surprising moments you encounter throughout the game. A few minutes after my creature emerged from the cell phase and entered creature phase, I heard a noise coming from above my creature's head. I looked up, and saw another planet's space ship. Another civilization in my galaxy was so far advanced they were already sending ships to my planet. That's when I knew I had to keep playing this game.

There are other moments like this, such as encountering creatures throughout my planet (and others) that I built using the creature creator demo this summer. Or watching my aggressive, militaristic citizens form armies in the streets and get into brawls in the streets of my city.

This is what keeps me playing Spore. Looked at individually, the phases are pretty unimpressive. However, looking back from the space stage, tracking the history of my race from tiny organism to space-exploring civilization is pretty thrilling.

9.9.99

2008-09-09T02:11:00.002-04:00

Never forget.

NO!

2008-09-08T18:46:00.002-04:00

If this is true, I am going to be very, very upset.

UPDATE: That was a close one...

Sadness

2008-09-04T04:39:00.001-04:00

It makes me sad that I'm not posting right now. School and friends and trying to work out like a good little boy and work and playing videogames just occupies too much of my time right now. Also, I don't feel like I have much to say.

I should be back in full force as soon as I get settled... if I actually allow myself to get settled this semester.

Time to get excited

2008-09-02T23:53:00.001-04:00

This is gonna be the best movie ever.

Two of a kind

2008-08-28T02:54:00.002-04:00

What were the two best things about the summer? That's right! Lil' Wayne and Michael Phelps.

Well now these two summer heavyweights will be combining forces at last. Where, you ask? On the first episode of SNL, of course! Michael Phelps will host with Lil' Wayne as the musical guest.

I don't know why the two of them haven't collaborated before.

I have very little to say

2008-08-28T01:59:00.002-04:00

School conquers all at the moment. Once upon a time, I thought I'd be taking it easy this semester with only 12 hours of class. That didn't work out. I had to add an extra 3 hours in order to graduate in December. It doesn't sound like much, but right now 3 extra hours might as well be 300.

My classes seem like they might actually be interesting, but I have very little motivation. I'm sure I'll be able to muster the strength to do fine. I have a rhetoric and writing class that, right now, looks more like a video course. I get the feeling we're going to be studying rhetoric as it pertains to documentaries than rhetoric in writing. I also have a journalism editing course, and my professor seems intent on throwing the most obscure rules at us. Apparently, if we have any factual errors in our work, its an automatic F. I have a women in American literature course, that's shaping up to be just like every other literature course. I think I'm going to watch Little Women rather than read it. My last class on my busy days (Monday, Wednesday, and Friday) is a history course that looks at the American Revolution. History is cool. My professor is not. The first day (the only day she's actually been here), she bragged to us about how she failed both her cousin and her favorite student (who she also kept from graduating) because they didn't turn in a paper on time. Part of me wants to test her and then bring down an ungodly shitstorm when she tries to keep me from graduating. The other part wants to avoid any sort of confrontation. I'm going with that part.

The class I had to add is a design course, which actually seems very interesting. We're going to be fooling around with all the Adobe programs (Illustrator, Photoshop, Indesign). Just one more thing I can count as "experience".

I pride myself on not buying college textbooks. Ever since I paid over $500 my very first semester for a bunch of books I never even opened, I've been very cautious about buying textbooks. This year, for the first time since my first semester, I've had to buy every book. In my journalism course, I paid nearly $100 for what amounts to a workbook. Oh, and that's the used price.

College is a scam.

I've been pretty down on school lately. I never want to go to class. I never want to do homework. I just don't have it in me anymore. I'm living on campus again, and while its great to be close to my sister and a couple of my friends, I'm right in the middle of freshman-land. I've been here over four years now, and I have very little patience for these children.

I'm tired, which is probably why this post is so negative. Let me think of something besides school that I can say nice things about.

Videogames are super cool at the moment, although I don't have as much time to play as I'd like. Of course, I'm still playing WoW, although the amount of time I spend in the game has decreased significantly. Yesterday, I bought Lost Odyssey for the XBox 360. Its one of those games that I've been wanting to pick up for a long time, but knew the price had to drop sometime soon. It did, so I bought it. I'm about two hours in and its really beautiful. Its basically your typical Final Fantasy game, but in high definition.

Speaking of high definition, I've got the TV bug bad. I was in Wal-Mart yesterday and was checking out the Vizio TVs (when I buy my TV, it will be a Vizio... because I can't afford a Samsung), and I had this uncontrollable urge to run home, cash my excess financial aid check, and then attempt to explain to my family why all that money was gone and I had a nice new TV. I think they could have figured it out.

Coming soon we've got Spore, which is apparently shaping up to be a far more "casual" game than I think anyone imagined. Right now, that's OK with me. I'm sure that the game will still offer an incredible amount of playtime for the more hardcore gamer, and there are bound to be expansions. This fall's lineup is a bit overwhelming. Right now, I'm interested in Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, Fable II, Fallout 3, Gears of War 2, Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts, WoW: Wrath of the Lich King, Prince of Persia, and Persona 4. That's a lot of games, and I'm pretty sure I'm forgetting something. I hope I have the time (and money) to play everything.

Consoles typically run on five-year cycles. While the Playstation 2 is going on ten years of selling incredibly well, its replacement was still released six years after it was.

This makes me wonder if some of the current-gen systems aren't on their next-to-last holiday season. The XBox 360 was released around Thanksgiving of 2005. This will be its fifth holiday season. Of course, Microsoft is already planning the NeXtBox, but do they have a Christmas 2010 launch date in mind? I also think that Sony realizes that, despite finally beginning to pick up a bit of steam, the PS3 is pretty much a misfire. They've got to be planning the PS4 to launch simultaneously with Microsoft's next console. Nintendo doesn't even count, so we're not going to talk about them.

At the same time, I think certain games are proving that the current hardware is very viable. Sony and Microsoft are still selling their boxes from $300-$400. Three years into the lifespan of both the PS2 and the XBox, those systems had dropped to nearly half of their original price. For some people, the current-gen is still the next-gen. I imagine there are a lot of gamers out there who are still content to play their PS2s. With the significant initial investment, as well as the increased cost of the games, XBox 360 and PS3 don't make sense for a lot of people.

The Wii has proven that there is a whole new audience out there for games, but I believe it is the 360 and the PS3 which will define what we see in the next generation. No console will ever ship without a hard drive, and I would bet that Microsoft's next machine will include Blu-Ray. Also, could we be looking at extended life cycles on these consoles? I know I've already said that Microsoft is probably planning XBox 72o for a 2010 launch, but what if they're not? What if they're content to give it a couple of extra years... say push it to 2012? That would mean the 360 could feasibly have a lifespan of seven years. The PS2 was Sony's main machine from 2000-2006. That's only six years. Could six, seven, or even eight years become the standard, rather than four or five?

Microsoft is going to go into this holiday season with a $300 flagship machine. Yes, they will more than likely have the barebones 360 down to $200, and that should sell a lot of systems. But for me, the 360 will still cost $300. That was the launch price of both the PS2 and the original XBox. Three years after the release of the 360, it still costs what an XBox did on day one.

Unless Microsoft and Sony can get their machines down to that magical $199.99 price point by next Christmas, its highly unlikely that we'll see new consoles roll out in 2010. Sony and Microsoft won't launch until they've drained every dollar they can from these systems.

The next generation should be an interesting one. Nintendo is riding high on the success of the Wii, but pleasing only a few people. I don't think I know anyone who owns a Wii who is actually satisfied with the system. Both the XBox 360 and the PS3 are doing a lot of things right, but neither system can do it all. The 360 offers fantastic online gaming, as well as high definition out of the box. PS3 offers Blu-Ray support as well as a dedicated (and much larger) hard drive.

Let's face it, has this generation been truly "next-gen"? The leap in graphical quality from the Playstation and N64 to the PS2 and XBox was astounding. And while there are certainly standout games on the current consoles, a lot of them just look like glossier, hi-def copies of last-gen games. As far as I'm concerned, graphics really can't get all that better (I say that now...). I have seen some things on the current systems that I never would have thought possible a few years ago. All of the consoles have proven that downloadable gaming is the wave of the future, and I'm sure that's something that will continue to evolve. Microsoft apparently envisions a console with no physical discs. I'm sure Microsoft would love to see a world with no discs and no stores like Gamestop to resell those discs.

What do you care? Why do I launch into these long lectures about the economics of gaming? I'm not an economist. I'm not a PR person. I'm not a marketing major. My enjoyment of things manifests itself in the strangest ways. When my dad came up to visit me on his way to Virginia Beach, instead of discussing life or sports over beers, I discussed the climate that made The Dark Knight such a megahit. Yeah, we talked about how good the movie is, but really I just explored the factors that went towards pushing it over $500 million (a figure it will more than likely reach this weekend).

Do people care? I mean, honestly, if you (you know who you are) weren't my friend, would you ever listen to anyone ramble on about box office figures and units sold the way I do? Am I being materialistic? Is my heart in the wrong place? Should I stop writing because its 3 in the morning?

I think so.

Hottest

2008-08-21T16:02:00.003-04:00

Its been a frantic couple of days (or couple of weeks) here (and there) for me, so I apologize that my almost constant posting here has come to a complete stop. Just to fill you in, I've moved twice (maybe even three times) partied quite a bit, watched a lot of Olympics, seen three movies, started classes, been faced with the horror of possibly not graduating, and quickly resolving that problem. So now I'm here, working in the computer lab, where I ought to be.

I declared earlier this week that August is the worst month of the year. It is always the hottest month, the month you start school, and the month where all the fun summer entertainment just... stops. In honor of the worst month of the year, I'd like to offer you my list of the HOTTEST movies and jams of the summer (its HOTTEST, not best... and jams, not songs). So without further ado, here comes the list.

10 HOTTEST Movies of the Summer:

10. Sex and the City - What the hell is this doing here? Honestly, I don't know, but I have to give props to a movie aimed solely at women that can go toe-to-toe with Indy and Iron Man. Also, in summers typically dominated my male-driven spectacle, this was a breath of fresh air.

8. Hellboy 2: The Golden Army - Hellboy 2 is more like Guillermo Del Toro's greatest hits. A much more polished offering than the original, this movie is big on "wow" factor. I'm a big fan of everything I've seen from Del Toro. He creates worlds without rules and just asks you to come along.

8. Pineapple Express - The amount of negative talk among friends about this movie really disappoints me. I've only met one person that I think "gets" it (and I can't even remember the guy's name). This movie makes about as much sense as collecting all the genres it brings together. Its a stoner-action-buddy comedy. Its supposed to be laid back and slightly nonsensical. We're are supposed to get sort of lost and sidetracked on our way to the end.

7. Kung Fu Panda - The biggest surprise of the summer. I kind of wanted to see this, but went in expecting very little. What I got was my favorite animated offering from Dreamworks yet, and something that I feel rivals Pixar. It may not have the heart of the Pixar flicks, but it certainly offers fun and a ton of laughs. The CG kung fu scenes are really spectacular.

6. Tropic Thunder - Without a doubt, this is the funniest movie of the summer, and one of the funniest movies I can remember. People who are calling it simply "dumb" are missing the point. This is a brilliant satire or the Hollywood system. Robert Downey, Jr.'s speech about never going "full retard" might be one of the funniest things ever. Oh, and speaking of RDJ, he had a summer not unlike Judd Apatow last year, who started and ended the summer off right with Knocked Up and Superbad. Funny stuff.

5. Speed Racer - I don't know if it was the fact that the movie was released on the week between two of the three behemoths of the summer, or if the marketing was bad, or if there just wasn't an audience, but I think people really missed out on a real gem here. I feel like this is one of those movies that could find a real audience on DVD. Let's hope so.

4. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - Listen, I know this isn't great. I know its not Raiders of the Lost Ark, but can there ever be another? For me, this is right up there with Temple of Doom and The Last Crusade. Both those movies have serious flaws, and this takes the best parts about both of those movies and makes something that I will be able to watch over and over again.

3. Wall-E - Most of the time, I could Pixar out. I always think that the newest Pixar movie will be the one to break the streak. On Cars, I was right, but I've been wrong every other time. I don't know if any studio has ever been as consistently amazing as Pixar. Not even Disney in its heyday doesn't quite equal the genius of Pixar. Now its back to doubting whether or not Up will be any good.

2. Iron Man - This and my number one choice created the book ends of a summer filled with superhero movies. While Iron Man is a very different movie from number one on this list, they feel almost spiritually linked. They are both the movies that prove the superhero genre can be something more. That they can be treated with a great deal of respect and seriousness and be more than a popcorn movie. Now let's see that way of thinking carry over to Watchmen.

1. The Dark Knight - Like it would be anything else. Even after repeated viewings, this movie holds up as a masterpiece. Not only the best superhero movie ever made, but... well, you get it. If one movie could make me buy a Blu-Ray player, this is it.

As with every summer, there were more than a handful of disappointments. Let's talk about that for a bit.

5 Biggest DUDS of the Summer:

5. Star Wars: The Clone Wars - I feel a little guilty sticking this on here. It certainly wasn't good by any means, but it wasn't bad either. For what amounts to a 90-minute commercial, that seems like high praise. This format ought to work much better on TV.

4. American Teen - Sigh. I wanted to like this movie so badly, but the further I get from it the more I dislike it. Nothing about it felt genuine. I felt as manipulated as I do when I watch an episode of Project Runway. For the filmmakers to know when to reveal their secrets is one thing, but to make it so obvious is another.

3. TIE: Hancock and The Happening - I'm including these on here, even though I haven't seen them. I was genuinely interested in both after I saw the first trailers. An original superhero movie with Will Smith sounded interesting, and I thought M. Night Shyamalan might be able to retrieve some of his former glory with an R-Rated horror flick. I guess I was wrong, I just never bothered to find out.

2. The Incredible Hulk - I prefer the Ang Lee version. Judging by box office returns, audiences felt about the same way.

1. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - What a boring movie. Its been a long time since I felt like I would have given anything for a movie to end. I never bothered with the first one, and I regret bothering with this one.

OK, that's out of the way. Now on to music. There are rules here. This song did not have to be originally released this summer to make the list. It only had to achieve or maintain hit status at some point this summer.

10 HOTTEST Jams of the Summer:

10. V.I.C. - Get Silly - Say what you will about Soulja Boy (who produced this song), but he has the ability to latch onto a sound and drill it into your skull until you hate it so much you love it. This song also came packaged with the best dance of the summer.

9. M.I.A. - Paper Planes - Can someone please explain to me why this has become a massive hit one year after the release of the song? Is it because its in the Pineapple Express trailer (but not the movie)? Maybe people finally realized how cool shotgun beats really are. Let it be known that I loved this song first, and its been my ringtone for a good six months now.

8. MGMT - Electric Feel - The only thing I know about these guys is the hits. I liked Time to Pretend, and I really dig this. Multiply my opinion of this song by 100 when Justice remixes it.

7. Three 6 Mafia - I'd Rather - Only Three 6 could turn a song with the lyrics "I love having sex, but I'd rather get some head" into a hit.

6. Pharrel, Julian Casablancas, and Santogold - My Drive Thru - Part of me feels bad for liking a song that is so blatantly commercial (I mean, the music video is a commercial), but another part just wants to listen to it over and over again. Santogold seems to work best for me on collaborations, and Mr. Strokes hasn't sounded this good since Is This It?

5. Girl Talk - Feed the Animals - There is no way to avoid including this, but no way I can pick one track. It wasn't designed to be listened to in that way. Girl Talk signals both the death and rebirth of pop music. He takes songs that come with an expiration date and turns them into something timeless.

4. Young Jeezy and Kanye West - Put On - I did not like this song the first time I heard it. One day I was forced to listen to it about five times on the radio, and it really grew on me. Kanye's verse, which I initially hated, is probably his most intimate and selfless lyric yet.

3. Hot Styles - Lookin Boy - Fucking infectious. This gets in my head and won't get out... in a good way.

2. M.I.A., Santogold, and Gorilla Zoe - Get It Up - So maybe this wasn't a hot jam in the sense that it took over the globe and could be heard blasting from cars across the country, but I defy you to find a HOTTER jam this summer. You can't.

1. Lil Wayne - A Milli - Moreso than Lollipop, this was the jam that really defined the summer for me. The summer definitely belonged to Lil Wayne, and unlike Lollipop, this song is actually good. This has been on pretty much constant repeat in my life since Tha Carter III dropped.

The movies didn't make it out unscathed, did you think I was going to ignore the jams?

5 Biggest DUDS of the Summer (Music edition):

5. Lil Wayne ft. Static Major - Lollipop - Now I really feel bad putting this on here. The song is almost brilliant in how perfectly Lil Wayne sells out, and its certainly responsible for pushing Tha Carter III over a million units in a week. This was the song I loved to hate this summer, or hated to love. Who knows?

4. Katy Perry - I Kissed a Girl - I don't care how liberal or socially accepting you are, a part of you has to shed a little tear every time you hear this song. Right?

3. Kid Rock - All Summer Long - For some reason, this has been keeping Kid Rock's album (which is over a year old now) in the top 5 best selling all summer. This? Its Kid Rock singing terribly over Sweet Home Alabama. If this were Bawitaba or something, maybe I could understand all the love.... but this?

2. Rihanna - Disturbia - Typically, Rihanna can come through with a hit song. Umbrella dominated last summer, and she had a decent hit this summer with Take A Bow. Disturbia is just a huge misfire, as is naming your song after a Shia La Beouf movie.

1. Pussycat Dolls - When I Grow Up - I ask, what did we do to the gods of music for them to unleash the Pussycat Dolls upon us? There is no reason anyone should ever be subjected to anything this horrible.

'Bout Time

2008-08-19T12:06:00.002-04:00

I know its an argument that's been around since the drinking age was raised to 21, but if I can go die for this country, I ought to be able to enjoy a beer as well. Read this.

Oh, and I'm sorry about not posting for so long. I've moved twice and spent a week at home. I'm not back at school and ready to begin my final semester. I'll be back with regular posts shortly.

Worst band ever

2008-08-04T09:43:00.000-04:00

"It's quite obvious that this guy had no clue what being a Juggalo is all about. If anyone knows anything at all about ICP, then you know that they have never, ever been down or will be down with any racist or bigotry bullshit."

I just... I don't even know.

Hear ye, hear ye!

2008-08-02T18:50:00.002-04:00

Let it be known that I have the greatest girlfriend in the world.

I normally don't do things like this on this here blog, but I felt it necessary.

A fantastic article

2008-08-02T14:53:00.000-04:00

You owe it to yourself to read this now.

Rachel, you win.

2008-08-02T14:33:00.002-04:00

The common statement that "every band sounds better live" is, for the most part, true. Its hard to deny the energy and excitement most bands have on stage. That is, unless they suck.

Live music is fun and everything, but I've never sought out live bands. I need to know the music to truly appreciate what is happening on-stage. Truly transcendent live music experiences only occur for me when I possess a deep connection to the music (The Who, Radiohead x 2, The White Stripes).

THAT BEING SAID, I'm watching clips of the Avett Brothers performing at Bonnaroo this year, and I'm really feeling this. I've enjoyed the music (what little I've listened to) but not to the point of really wanting to explore it. These guys' energy on-stage is just fascinating, and I think I'm really going to give them a shot now.

That's really all I have to say. Exciting post, right?

NoW

2008-08-01T22:29:00.002-04:00

For those out there who don't know, I'm back on World of Warcraft (again). I don't know if this counted as a "break" because I knew I'd be coming back, I just wasn't sure when.

Well, this week it was announced (in a weird sort of way) that Wrath of the Lich King (that's the next expansion) would be released sometime in the fourth quarter of this year. That means the game could be out anytime between October and December. I'm thinking mid-November, right before the Christmas shopping season starts.

There are a ton of new features being introduced in Wrath of the Lich King. I won't go into all of them here, but needless to say, the game is looking very nice.

That being said, there are some features which WoW is severely lacking. For all the improvements WoW has made over previous MMOs, they still don't have EVERYTHING in their game.

So, in keeping with the spirit of the day, here are the top 10 features I'd like to see added to World of Warcraft:

10. Realms with level 60 cap - I'll admit, this is a completely insane request. Its also one that's been addressed numerous times by Blizzard. Apparently, the amount of customer support it would take to maintain two distinct types of realms just isn't worth the trouble, and that I completely understand. I do, however, think it would be great if certain realms had their level cap reduced to 60, and all the old dungeons and raids became viable again. Pipe dreams.

9. NO NEW RACES - So this is the only time on the list that I'll be asking for Blizzard NOT to implement a feature. A lot of people desperately want new races for the Horde and Alliance, but I think five on each side is perfect. I still get a little freaked out when I see a Draenei running around... I don't think we need Pandas or anything (and I'm not kidding, Pandas would be high on the list of new races).

8. Multi-passenger mounts - So apparently this is coming in Wrath of the Lich King, but its not an officially announced feature, so I'll include it here. I really think it would be great to give players the option of letting low-level characters ride along with high-level ones. If you're questing with a friend, it would really speed things up.

7. Speed up leveling - So one of the most welcome features in a recent patch was a roughly 30% decrease in the amount of time it took to level a character from 20-60. Why not 1-60, you ask? Well, you really need those first 20 levels to get accustomed to the class. Well, what I ask is why not 20-70? With Lich King on the way, the idea of leveling a character from 1-80 sounds very unappealing. Blizzard needs to implement a simple solution (Death Knights start at 55... maybe a sign of things to come?) to fix this problem.

6. All dungeons to have heroic option - The introduction of heroic dungeons was one of the best things about The Burning Crusade. Heroic dungeons gave you the option to play all the dungeons introduced in The Burning Crusade basically in "hard" mode, meaning everything was geared for level 70+ characters. But what about those old dungeons? I don't know about everyone else, but I would love an excuse to run Deadmines again at level 70. Bump up the HP, change the loot to be beneficial to level 70 characters, and you add an entirely new reason to go back to old WoW.

5. Flying mounts in Azeroth - Ever since the introduction of flying mounts in The Burning Crusade, players have been calling out for their introduction into old WoW. Well, sadly, I don't know if that's possible. The terrain wasn't built with flying mounts in mind, and the code certainly doesn't allow for them. However, Blizzard could allow you to ride your flying mounts as ground mounts with epic speed within the old world. That would be a cool addition to show off your super cool flying mount to lowbies leveling in the old world.

4. Guild Halls - This game is just dying for guild halls. I think it would be amazing if there was a space in major cities where your guild could get together for meetings, socialization, and before raids. Much like the system I'll be discussing in my number one choice in this list, accomplishments within the guild could be tracked. Let's say your guild clears Karazhan (a relatively easy feat). Once that was done, a trophy would appear in the guild hall proclaiming your achievement. Just a fun little addition.

3. Graphical overhaul - Personally, I love WoW's art direction. I also love Blizzard's choice to make the game accessible to nearly all players. The game can look as simple as you want or as complex (I've got all my settings to the max and the game looks gorgeous). That being said, some people with killer gaming rigs probably want a little more, so why not give it to them? Almost all MMOs, at some point in their lifespan, have been forced to overhaul the graphics engine to keep up. WoW will have to do the same, but I think they also have to make it voluntary. Depending on how it looked, I don't know if I'd change.

2. More hero classes - The introduction of the Death Knight in Wrath of the Lich King is arguably the biggest change. Everything I've heard so far about the Death Knights leads me to believe that it will be an amazing class and one step in the evolution of starting zones in World of Warcraft. So why just one? Maybe I'm being greedy, but the introduction of only one hero class seems a little stingy. Instead of giving every race the option to play as a Death Knight (which, from a lore standpoint, is completely ridiculous), why not give certain races (humans, dwarves, draenei, orcs, trolls, and undead) the option to play as a Death Knight, and the other classes another hero class. At some point, I'm really hoping for Arch Druid. Night Elves, Taurens, and especially Gnomes have absolutely no business being Death Knights.

1. Player housing - To me, this is just obvious. For a game with this many players, housing could provide a substantial time-sink and an alternative to the typical raid or PvP end-game options. It wouldn't be hard. A new structure could be built in each capital city, and each individual player's house could be instanced (meaning that, despite being in a multiplayer online game, you are the only one accessing your house). Players could first buy their housing, then items to place around the house. Also, with the introduction of achievements in Wrath of the Lich King, certain items could become available once certain achievements were unlocked. This would also be a cool way to showcase your triumphs in previous versions of the game. Why should I be forced to just vendor my armor that I've spent months gaining in WoW once my character levels up? I should be able to display that old armor and weaponry in my house in some way. This is the one thing that MUST show up in either a patch or an upcoming expansion.

I'm in a listy mood

2008-08-01T08:39:00.002-04:00

Here are the top 10 fictional characters I'd most like to be.

10. Tony Stark/Iron Man - In all honesty, Tony Stark is kind of a baby. He's a rich alcoholic. But he is a genius, and he does have a super cool glowing heart. Oh yeah, and a giant suit of armor that turns him into a fighter jet that could punch you.

9. Buzz Lightyear - He's no taller than 12 inches, but what he lacks in height he more than makes up for in pure, unfiltered awesome. Also, being a delusional toy is pretty cool.

8. Thumdar - Not a fictional character in the typical sense. In case you don't know what I'm talking about, Thumdar is my level 70 Night Elf Druid in World of Warcraft. He's neat.

7. Captain James Tiberius Kirk - When you're five, Capt. Kirk is pretty much anything you could ever hope to be as a man. He's the captain of a space ship. He's a ladies' man. He has a best friend with pointy ears. And honestly, the male brain doesn't advance much past the age of five.

6. Wolverine - I don't know what's the most appealing about Wolverine. Is it the three retractable claws? Is it the healing powers? Is it the hair. Its probably all three... but mainly the hair.

5. Admiral William Adama - The military leader of the last surviving humans knows no fear. He'd risk the survival of the entire human race to save the woman he loves. But guess what, he's never going to tell her that he loves her, because that would be weak. Real men don't love, they get even!

4. Solid Snake - First of all, his name is Snake. Second, he has a mullet. Third, he's like, 80 years old and women still fall all over him. He's the kind of guy to sneak up on you and kill you while you're taking a piss. Not only will he kill you, but he'll leave you there with your wiener hangin' out to make it all the more humiliating.

3. Michael Scott - Confused? Ignorant? Out of touch? Wrong! More like Bad-ass. Ladies' man. Jack of all trades. The regional manager of Dunder-Mifflin Scranton is all these things and more. Don't cross him or he'll cut you.

2. Jason Bourne - Jason Bourne came along and threw a wrench in the whole James Bond mechanic, and now Bond is just playing catch up. Sure, there's the whole amnesia thing, but how awesome is it that the only things Bourne remembered was how to kill you in all sorts of new and amazing ways?

1. TIE: Han Solo/Indiana Jones - Harrison Ford is one of the five greatest men to ever live, up there with Moses and Benjamin Franklin. While pretty much evrey character he played before the age of 50 could single-handedly win the war in Iraq, Han Solo and Indiana Jones could have fought and won World War II. Han Solo could take the Pacific and Indiana Jones could take Europe.

A long way to go

2008-08-01T07:46:00.003-04:00

Today is the first day of August. Typically, this time of the year begins the drought of movies between summer season and Oscar season. This year, however, it looks like there's quite a few decent movies coming out this fall.

Let's say the last summer movie is Star Wars: The Clone Wars. It comes out August 15. Here is my list of the top 10 movies I'm anticipating after the summer.

10. Burn After Reading - I wasn't the biggest fan of No Country For Old Men, but this one looks like a ton of fun. Brad Pitt and George Clooney together in a non-Oceans capacity should be very interesting, especially with the Coen Brothers involved.

9. Miracle at St. Anna - Spike Lee's crusade against Clint Eastwood's Flags of our Fathers/Letters from Iwo Jima was ridiculous. You're a big director, make your own WWII movie!

8. How to Lose Friends and Alienate People - I've never read this book, but I've picked it up a lot in Borders. It also has Simon Pegg in it. Therefore, I want to see it.

7. Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist - Who knows? This year's Juno/Little Miss Sunshine. I'm willing to give anything with Michael Cera a shot.

6. Body of Lies - Ridley Scott's body of work is weird. He has fantastic, classic movies and completely worthless movies. Honestly, this one will probably be somewhere in the middle, but Leo's in it.

5. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - My initial reaction to the trailer for this was WTF? At the time, I didn't know it was a David Fincher movie, and he doesn't make bad movies.

4. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - A lot of factors have made me a little cautious about this movie, mainly the return of director David Yates. That being said, the book was good, and I'm sure that will translate to the big screen.

3. Zack and Miri Make a Porno - Assuming Kevin Smith can slide this past the MPAA (it just received the dreaded NC-17 rating) this should be hilarious. I'm excited to see Kevin Smith's style clash with the Apatow crew's improvisational acting.

2. Eagle Eye - I'm funny about Shia. I think he definitely has talent. I like him in Indy 4, and I tolerate him in Transformers. I don't know, something about this movie just seems different, and fun. I will definitely see this, even if its bad.

1. Death Race - I don't care what anyone says, this movie is going to kick everyone's ass. Literally, anyone in or around a movie theater playing this movie will have their ass kicked. Don't believe me? Just try going near a movie theater on August 22.

They're all wasted

2008-07-30T07:29:00.002-04:00

Last night, Caroline scored us free tickets to an advance screening for American Teen. While the movie was pretty good, it has inspired a great deal of thought in my mind. I've thought about my own high school memories, my generation's sense of entitlement, and even the nature of rebellion. What follows is less a review of the movie and more an overview of my thoughts inspired by the movie.

Bear with me, this could get crazy.

High school. Everyone seems to dwell on the awful memories from that period in time. Especially if you're the type of person that does not really "find" himself until you get to college. If that is the case, then trading horror stories about how awkward you were or out of place you felt becomes necessary.

In high school, I had every reason in the world to despise my situation. I lived in a small town, I definitely felt out of place, I never had a girlfriend, and I felt destined for bigger things. But you know what? I loved it. I sucked it up, and I loved it. Sure, I may not have been Mr. Popular, but I had an outstanding core group of friends that I enjoyed spending time with. At school, I was pretty much friends with everyone, so it was easy for me to get along with someone in any class I had. Also, I was a "smart kid", which afforded me a lot of opportunities (basically slacking off) during school.

There were some bad things about high school. Any time I decided to act upon my crushes and ask a girl out or to a social event (Homecoming, Prom) normally ended in disaster. But in the grand scheme of things, that amounts to a total of about 6 days of a 4 year experience.

The one big event in high school that really lived up to the hype (created by me) was graduation. As I was telling Caroline last night, graduation really was the first day of the rest of my life. The ceremony was just like every other graduation ceremony (long, boring), but the events that followed were a ton of fun. About 10 of us hung out with the guys who ran the Mexican restaurant in town. They kept the store open late for us, and even gave us some beer they had in the back. Then, we went out to the big graduation party, which turned out to be a blast. This was the first night I decided to drink, something I had avoided entirely in high school... but I wasn't in high school anymore. Needless to say, fun was had, and I didn't go to sleep until about 10 am the next day... after I had taken my sister to breakfast.

Well, uh, that was really high school. Now let's talk about how whiny kids are these days. For some reason, I live in a generation of entitlement. Most people I know that are my age and younger (especially college kids and older high school kids) feel as if they are owed something. I can't tell you how many times I've sat in a class and listened to students make outrageous demands from their instructor. And I'm not talking about the playful way in which students often tease instructors (its a complicated relationship, really), but a genuine argument that the students are not getting something they deserve.

Note to those students: They are getting something they deserve. Its called an education.

Towards the end of American Teen, the main character (and by main character I mean the kid the filmmakers want you to identify with the most... and who the entire marketing of the film is built around), sits with her parents and tells them about how much she wants to move to San Francisco. Her mother (who, by the way, is manic depressive) tells her that she can't get everything that she wants, and that she's not special. Pretty much the entire audience laughed awkwardly, shocked that a mother would say this to her daughter. I sat there, wondering why everyone was laughing. That seemed like a completely valid statement. Just because you're "weird" or "different" or you "don't fit in" (whatever the hell that means) doesn't mean you get to just run off at 18 and do whatever you want. Life doesn't work that way. I'm sorry, it just doesn't.

My generation has been so spoiled by their parents that, now that they're on their own, they feel like the world owes them something. That reward system no longer exists for them (no one is going to buy you a car in college).

SIDE NOTE: I think the Boomers got parenting all wrong. First of all, they handed the job of parent off to whoever they could, namely day-care centers, nannies, grandparents, etc. Second, they indulge their children far too much. That's really all I have to say.

Kids today aren't owed anything. We have lived the easiest lives of probably any generation of young people ever. Most of us have cars, freedom, money (either from parents or a job), and access to more "stuff" than possibly any generation ever. No one owes us a thing. If anything, we owe everyone else a little something: respect.

Which brings me to my next point. Rebellion is a staple of every teenager. Its something that every kid does, whether their parents know it or not. Its a fact.

After the movie last night, I was discussing the whole "entitlement" thing with Caroline and I went on this long tirade about our generation placing young people on a pedestal, whereas previous generations have admired and respected older people. Let's face it, older people, even if they're senile, have a better grasp on life than we'll have until we're... well... old.

I'm 22. I've accrued quite a few life experiences. That being said, I don't know shit about life. I'm still living my college/summer camp life. The toughest thing I've ever had to deal with was the possibility of leaving school... which was my own fault.

Sure, everyone gets nostalgic about being young. I think everyone has thoughts of doing it all over again. But the fact that our culture seems to idolize the people around my age group is a little sad.

This brings me back to what I was saying. Rebellion has taken on so many different faces, its hard to tell what's rebellious and what's a joke. You've got emo kids and goth kids and jocks and nerds and band kids and preps and about a million other different social groups, all rebelling in their own special way.

What happened to the good old days? Greasers were good at being rebellious because they were genuinely scary. They had absolutely nothing in common with their parents. Now, parents are pushovers. How do we rebel against people that we've grown up to be very similar to?

My way of rebelling is to be a curmudgeon. I'm the guy screaming from his porch for those damn smoochers to get off my property! I walk around the mall and I see kids, who are 8 years younger than me at the very most, and I want to sit them down and tell them stories about what it was like back in my day. You see kids, back in my day, we didn't have emos. Anime was just something that nerds and otaku watched. We didn't have your fancy camera phones. If you dressed like a fucking queer, the jocks beat your ass. That's the way its supposed to be.

Memories.

Here's my card

2008-07-28T09:12:00.002-04:00

The Dark Knight is definitely a bona-fide, mega, super hit. Not just a hit but a super hit. The movie racked up another $75 million over the weekend, pushing its 10-day total to right around $315 million.

I find the reasons people go see movies fascinating. Why, more than 10 years later, has no movie been able to challenge Titanic for the top-grossing movie ever? Even if The Dark Knight comes close (and I'm thinking its going to end up around the $500 million mark), the achievement still won't be as impressive as Titanic's box office take. Adjusted for inflation, Titanic's box office total is just over $900 million dollars. Even if The Dark Knight gets close, Titanic still crushes it in terms of 2008 ticket prices.

The media fascination with opening weekend box offices is one of the weirdest things I think I've ever seen. The type of people I meet that can just spout off box office returns just astounds me. Why is that news? I mean, it interests me, but what appeal does that have to the average Joe?

I think the reporting of opening weekend returns has created this weird culture that just has to see a movie on its opening weekend. I remember the second time I saw The Two Towers (in the span of a day... yeah, I know, I'm sort of validating my own questions), there were two guys sitting behind me who were really excited about each trailer. They really got into the Bruce Almighty trailer. When the release date appeared on the screen at the end of the trailer, one of the guys was like "oh man, I'm going to be out of town that weekend."

What? Movies stay in theaters longer than one weekend. If you miss it during its first weekend, you can always go that week, or the following weekend. No one is going to think less of you.

All that aside, The Dark Knight's performance is very impressive. In the span of 10 days, it is the second highest grossing movie of the year, and will reach number one today. It took Iron Man and Indy 4 48 and 39 days respectively to hit the $300 million mark. The Dark Knight did that in 10.

The people who are seeing this movie multiple times is also very impressive. I've spoken to two people who have already seen it three times... and these aren't the type of people to go see a movie more than once or twice.

It has become a social event. Its something you have to see or you're not in the loop. I hope that the popularity of this movie will help its chances come Oscar time. The Academy Awards need a hit to get behind. If they latch on to this movie (which certainly deserves praise outside of just raising the ratings of the Academy Awards broadcast), people might care about the Oscars again.

Apple II

2008-07-26T15:23:00.002-04:00

"Right, well, um, basically it was because when we were first pregnant, her daddy said, if it's, basically one day he just said if it's a girl I think her name should be Apple. And I just, it sounded so sweet, and it conjures such a lovely picture for me, you know apples are so sweet and they're wholesome, and it's biblical and it's just, they're so, and I just thought it sounded so lovely and ..."

-Gwyneth Paltrow on Oprah in 2004, explaining why she named her child Apple

2008-07-26T13:52:00.001-04:00

This instills me with a lot of confidence in the movie. The trailer looks much better on the big screen. I'm really looking forward to this.

I Want To Believe

2008-07-25T21:06:00.001-04:00

I hope this is real.

2008-07-25T20:57:00.001-04:00

Have fun.

I've got it (post 400)

2008-07-25T10:40:00.002-04:00

So this idea is stolen, but I think its a great one. For my 400th post, I will pick the best album and movie from each year that I've been alive.

I stole this idea from The Onion's A.V. Club.

Best Movie For Every Year of my Life:

1985 - Back to the Future, Runner-up: Witness

1986 - Aliens, Runner-up: None

1987 - Evil Dead 2, Runner up: Predator

1988 - Die Hard, Runner-up: Akira

1989 - Do The Right Thing, Runner-up: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

1990 - Goodfellas, Runner-up: Jacob's Ladder

1991 - Terminator 2: Judgement Day, Runner-up: None

1992 - Aladdin, Runner-up: The Crying Game

1993 - Jurassic Park, Runner-up: The Sandlot

1994 - Pulp Fiction, Runner-up: The Lion King

1995 - Toy Story, Runner-up: Seven

1996 - Trainspotting, Runner-up: Independence Day

1997 - Boogie Nights, Runner-up: Princess Mononoke

1998 - Rushmore, Runner-up: Armageddon (???)

1999 - The Matrix, Runner-up: Being John Malkovich

2000 - Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Runner-up: High Fidelity

2001 - Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring, Runner-up: Y Tu Mama Tambien

2002 - Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Runner-up: Gangs of New York

2003 - Kill Bill, Vol. 1, Runner-up: Lost In Translation

2004 - Kill Bill, Vol. 2, Runner-up: Spider-man 2

2005 - Sin City, Runner-up: Brokeback Mountain

2006 - Pan's Labyrinth, Runner-up: TIE - Marie Antoinette/The Departed

2007 - Knocked up, Runner-up: 300

2008 - The Dark Knight, Runner-up: Iron Man

And there's my movie list. Now on to...

Best Albums for Every Year of My Life:

1985 - After searching my entire collection and a database of over 200 albums released this year, I have decided there were no good albums in 1985.

1986 - Peter Gabriel - So, Runner-up: Beastie Boys - Licensed to Ill

1987 - U2 - The Joshua Tree, Runner-up: Eric B & Rakim - Paid In Full

1988 - Public Enemy - It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back, Runner-up: None

1989 - Beastie Boys - Paul's Boutique, Runner-up: None

1990 - Public Enemy - Fear of a Black Planet, Runner-up: None (not a whole lot of good music made around this time)

1991 - Nirvana - Nevermind, Runner-up: None

1992 - Pavement - Slanted & Enchanted, Runner-up: Beastie Boys - Check Your Head

1993 - Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers) - Wu-Tang Clan, Runner-up: None

1994 - Pavement - Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain, Runner-up: TIE - Weezer - Weezer (Blue), Notorious B.I.G. - Ready to Die

1995 - Radiohead - The Bends, Runner-up: Bjork - Post

1996 - Beck - Odelay, Runner-up: Weezer - Pinkerton

1997 - Radiohead - OK Computer, Runner-up: Daft Punk -Homework

1998 - Outkast - Aquemini, Runner-up: Beck - Mutations

1999 - Beck - Midnite Vultures, Runner-up: Rage Against the Machine - Battle of Los Angeles

2000 - Radiohead - Kid A, Runner-up: Outkast - Stankonia

2001 - The Strokes - Is This It?, Runner-up: TIE - Jay-Z - The Blueprint/Radiohead - Amnesiac/ The White Stripes - White Blood Cells

2002 - Queens of the Stone Age - Songs of the Deaf, Runner-up: The Streets - Original Pirate Material

2003 - The White Stripes - Elephant, Runner-up: Radiohead - Hail to the Thief

2004 - The Streets - A Grand Don't Come for Free - The White Stripes, Runner-up: Loretta Lynn - Van Lear Rose

2005 - The White Stripes - Get Behind Me Satan, Runner-up: TIE - M.I.A. - Arular/Kanye West - Graduation

2006 - Justin Timberlake - Future Sex/Love Sounds, Runner-up: Clipse - Hell Hath No Fury

2007 - Radiohead - In Rainbows, Runner-up: M.I.A. - Kala

2008 - Lil Wayne - Tha Carter III, Runner-up: Girl Talk - Feed The Animals

And I'm done. I hope this was a satisfactory 400th post.

Life is short.

2008-07-25T09:49:00.001-04:00

Have an affair.

America bores me

2008-07-24T17:13:00.002-04:00

Why can't we have Damon Albarn and Jamie Hewlett promoting the Olympics over here? WHY?

Galangalangalanga

2008-07-24T14:40:00.003-04:00

See. They're not the same person.

P.S. This is my 397th post. I want to do something special for post number 400, I just don't know what it should be. All those who read my blog regularly, please comment with your suggestions. Your help in this matter is greatly appreciated.

HAHAHAHAHAHA

2008-07-22T14:31:00.002-04:00

The funniest thing I've read today.

Seriously, did this kid just hear about Blu-Ray, Metal Gear Solid 4, and the concept of buying used games?